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Characters I have met on the Greyhound Bus....the tales continue...these are tales of the Greyhound Bus Drivers themselves, who are also characters...

First off, some of the bus drivers themselves are quite the characters...I remember one bus driver , an older guy, who thought he was Hitler, or some such Nazi crazed individual, as he tended to rule his bus like a dictator....now there are certain rules, one must abide by on the bus, such as no smoking, no drinking of alcohol, no rowdy behavior and such...just commonsense rules...but this guy took it one step further...lots of the younger folk on board had their walkmans and radios and their headphones so as not to disturb the other passengers...but this bus driver seemed to have it in for those playing music...he said at the outset, that if he could hear any music at all, he would warn the offender the first time, and the second time the same offender was caught, he would be ejected from the bus...and he was good to his word...he would just stop the bus anywhere he wanted, and get up and come back and tell some person their music was too loud...how he came to that I cannot say, as he was warning young people all around me, and I swear I could hear none of their music, so how he could hear it, when he was driving up front is beyond me...finally the young people just shut off their music altogther, not wanting to risk being ejected...so the bus driver got his way...no music...

And most bus drivers, will stop at least once an hour, and announce a ten or fifteen minute break, so that smokers could get off the bus, and have a smoke...how frequent these breaks occurred, usually corresponded to whether or not the bus driver himself actually smoked....

But this music hating bus driver, also seemed to hate us smokers...he would stop to pick up new passengers, or let others get off at their stops, but he was really stingy about giving up smoke breaks...finally someone from the back of the bus shouted, that unless smoke breaks were allowed, the smokers were going to revolt and overthrow the bus...ah, but he stood firm....so the back seat revolters, began to smoke in the back of the bus...and that got his attention...he stopped the bus, and told them to put out their smokes, or they would be ejected....the mob got surly, and various words were exchanged...in the end, the smokes were put out, the bus driver relented, and we were allowed smoke breaks...the people rose up and won...

But what a nasty old driver, trying to make everyone more miserable, trying to make us conform to his way of life...

I have had young drivers, learner drivers, old drivers, men drivers, and even a rather muscular lady driver...most were pretty good natured, tho..the smoking drivers gave us lots of smoke breaks, the non smoking drivers gave us fewer, but usually one smoke break every hour and a half or so....some bus drivers drive straight through their route, with not a word...other bus drivers, ask people where they are from, some bus drivers act like tour guides, and point out every point of interest...One bus driver, missed a stop all together, and got a radio communique, miles down the road, that there were angry riders, aghast at seeing the bus whiz right by their stop, without picking them up...it was really kind of funny...we had to go back and get them and the poor bus driver sure did look sheepish...

One bus driver got to meet, the family of Pres.George Bush the first....I think he said it was at the inauguration and the whole big family, all of the relatives, were loaded onto a Greyhound bus, en masse, to be taken to wherever they were going to, to get into their limos, or whatever else transportation was being provided...this bus driver told us, that it was some of the most fun he had, with the whole Bush clan on board....he said, they were friendly, fun loving, and easy going, and just did nothing but laugh and joke and have a swell time while on board, and that they made him feel greatly at ease, and wished him to forget who they were in politics, and just treat them as regular folk, for that is what they were....

But the most memorable bus driver I had was this one particular guy...he was probably in his 40s, had silver grey hair, very wavy, wore a thick gold chain round his neck, sported flashy sunglasses and was handsome as they come...the ladies on board(myself included) were all a twitter, at having such handsome guy as our driver....and he was so much fun, very funny, and witty, and very chatty with everyone on board...

I remember at one of our early morning stops, somewhere in Northern California, he went into the bus station in town, and got his passengers ticketed and on board...he then announced that we would be having a 15 minute smoke break, so if you got em, smoke em....he then disappeared into the bus station, and we did not see him for 15 minutes or so...

Then he came out, and loaded us back up....he checked the luggage compartments below, and we seemed ready to roll...about that time, the rather flush, excited ticket lady, came out from her bus station, and grabbed this bus driver, and they had a big old hug, and a few kisses on the cheek....

WELL...what was going on...a disappearing bus driver, an excited ticket lady, smiles and grins abounded on us passengers....grab it while you can, as someone on the bus said...we all had a good laugh...

This bus driver drove us on and was his usual chatty self...when we got down into the Redwoods, all of a sudden he pulled the bus over to a small pull off section of the road....he announced that this was not a regular stop, but he wanted everyone to get off the bus, and we would all take a walk through the redwoods....

I was game, noting that I could enjoy the smell of the Redwood Forest and grab a smoke at the same time...everyone was glad to get off the bus, except for this very old man in the front seat...he said he was too old to be traipsing through the trees, and that the walk might kill him...our bus driver said something like this..."Pops, you may be old, and you may be ready to die, but to die surrounded the redwoods and your fellow bus friends, is a nice way to go"...with that, the old man smiled, and allowed the bus driver to assist him off the bus...the driver stayed the whole time with the old man, letting the old man lean on him...

We all milled around the Redwoods, and there was one huge redwood, which had a small tunnel in it, tall and big enough to allow people to walk through...he made us all walk through that tree, and he and the old man were the last ones to pass through it...with that, he loaded us all back onto the bus, and lastly assisted the old man back into his seat, adding, "Now see there Pops, you did not die, and you got to see some lovely trees"...

The old man just grinned, and I believe that the walk did him some good...he was now more energetic, and began talking to his fellow passengers...I suppose that now, so many years later, he has died, but should he have died in a hospital, or in a nursing home, I like to think that he remembered his walk in the redwoods, and the bus drivers words about being a lovely place to die....

Like in life, Greyhound Bus Drivers can run the gamut from just plain mean and crochety, to the sublime, and everything in between....

Next time I shall discuss the often outrageous passengers, I have met along the way....