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I don't have the time or the talent in HTML to post the whole thing, so just click on the link or here. Incredible.

Linked on Slate.com, where I found it.

Saw a comic once who commented on the increasing distance between his eyes: "Soon they'll be on the sides of his face, like a fish."

I asked my dad (a dermatologist) how they separate eyes.

"You don't want to know."

"Yes I do."

"OK. There is a joint in the bones of the skull in the middle of the brow. They pound a wedge into this joint to force the eye sockets apart. Wait for new bone to knit, and repeat."

I didn't want to know.

--Boris

Holey moley. Thanks for that.

1979	Hard to believe - this was Michael Jackson. Mike was born a cute African-American guy. "Normal, if you will, and very talented. Who knew he'd get addicted to plastic surgery, face accusations of child molestation and up America's Most Famous Sideshow?
1984	Mike gets his nose slightly narrowed and his eyebrows shaped. Ok, we can deal with that.
1985	Another nose job to narrow things and permanent eyeliner tattooed onto his eyes. Ouch! Is that lipstick?! Hell, it's the 80s... the age of hair bands and make-up on guys and flash. He already looks very different from the Original Mike, but he's looking good.
1987	The Sigourney Weaver in "Ghostbusters" Stage - The beginning of the end. He gets his nose done again, and, in a move that will forever baffle the world, neglects to sue the bastard who botched the surgery job on him. He gets eyebrows and more eyeliner tattooed on. He gets a chin implant for that Elfish look and possible cheek implants. His skin's been lightened, but he denies this, blaming it on a medical condition which causes people of color to develop light patches of skin that lack pigment. Yeah, uh huh. He allegedly (note clever use of word to avoid suit...) has his facial hair removed by electrolysis. He's talking in a Marilyn Monroe Little Girl Whisper. He's creepy. People are making jokes that only in America can you be born a black man and end up a white woman. Talented or no, the fact is we're realizing that Michael is Nuts.
1991	In an insult to transvestite men everywhere, who can look pretty damn good in a dress and makeup and can project female charm, that when Mike does this, he doesn't t even have the decency to stop grabbing his crotch every 3.09 minutes and allowing that image for us. His skin been lightened again and he's had lipcolor permanently tattooed onto his lips. Eyebrows were whittled down to Joan Crawford peaks and also colored on. The joke was that he was really his sister LaToya, too, which is never why you saw them together. He gets his nose done again and popular opinion is he "fucked it up", turning it into a pert little wedge that looks like a nose-and-glasses combo. He defends himself in the press by asking why people make such a Thang out of it.. a lot of people get surgery and it's not national news! He just doesn't see what he looks like.	LaToya
1992	The "Flying Monkey from the Wizard of Oz" look.. He had his poor nose messed with again, and again, there was one hell of a lawsuit waiting to happen that never did. Reportedly they tip rotted off and he had this nose job done to try to salvage what was left, now wearing a fake prothesis tip.His skin is so scarred and raw from all his bleaching (oh, excuse me...he's got that 'pigment disease') that the surface is a mass of pink scars He's taken to wearing various shades of stark white makeup, thinking this somehow helps. It does help, cuz we now notice his Arsenic-death pallor and not his nostrils, which are tiny little perfect triangles the size of a pencil eraser.
1997	The "Alcoholic Housewife" look... ... didn't catch on either. Even the staunch defenders of Michael's sanity have to admit the boy's cheese has slid off his cracker. Mike gets a fake chin implants, fake cheeks, has his nose done again and it's anyone's guess what the hell he did to his skin this time. He has darker permanent lip-color tattooed onto his lips, and jokes abound that he's turned into Diana Ross. He is a ghoul and seems to be a sick puppy with all this stuff he's done to himself and his bizarre antics in public. Each photo that shows up in the coming years never fails to make people gasp. Mike remarks about it in the press, saying he doesn't see why everyone but him can have plastic surgery and it's no big thing, but let him go have a tiny bit and BOY O BOY it's National News. He doesn't think he looks that different and wishes people would leave him alone.
1999	The Batman Period New chin again. Nose again. New cheeks. Smaller jaw. More eyeliner. So much makeup the guy looks like a Kabuki mask. This would all be amusing as Theater except this is how he's walking around, every day, pretending this is all perfectly normal. The weirdest thing is people act like it is. I mean, you never see photos of Mike dragging some kids with him to some awards and see people in the background throwing up. Rumor has it he transplanted some pubic hair to his jaw to try to make a Goatee in an attempt to butch up , but the thought is too repulsive to dwell on.
2000	The Japanese Anime Cartoon Guy period. He has his eyes tucked and the alleged::koff:: pubic hair 'rumor' seems verified as his new goatee has increased in size and quantity as if by magic. You can now officially call him 'dickface' , I suppose. He has a different jaw implant put in to combat that Ventriloquist Dummy thing he had going. Allegedly. He's a mess. He got his eyes pulled so tight he looks Oriental and they've ceased to line up properly.

2001

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! GAHHHHHH!!
Oh my, where does one start? Here is Michael at the age of 43 with his wrecked face. You can see the rumored fake-nose-tip-prothesis hanging off as well as the scars. It's hard to see a human being in there, and it's amazing there are plastic surgeons out there who can mutilate someone like this and sleep at night. One of the better stories of the year was that while in concert, Michael accidentally hit the tip of his nose, sending the hunk of Flash-plastic flying into the audience. He then scurried offstage like a cockroach to have his make-up person tack on another one.

2002

Michael enters the "amphibious lizard creature' Men In Black' phase.....

Big news drags Michael back to the spotlight. He's had his nose "fixed,,,WHEW!.." as it is reported, by having a bridge built to widen the nasal passages. Thank God! the headlines say. Poor thing probably couldn't breathe! with these teensy bitty nostrils. Oh How Nice For Him! bet this makes it a lot easier now. Perhaps his singing will improve, since his last album was 70 minutes of hiccups, grunts and yips. One has to wonder why, with all his money, he can't seem to find plastic surgeons who are capable of actually doing plastic surgery well. . The "fixed" bridge appears as two lumpy lines and not a smooth "it looks like a nose" line along the side of his nose, say, just for the sake of argument, a plastic surgeon might put in someone's face to simulate nose cartilage. Also there's a rounder jaw ad his not-tiny-triangle nostril has been pared down to match the other. Mike ruins his symmetry schtick with mismatched, lopsided eyes. Perhaps there was a bargain bin sale at 2 for $10 and hell, can't fault a guy for grabbing a pair at that price. He also has heavy eyeliner-eyeshadow in a charcoal black, one can only sadly assume. permanently tattooed on.
Stay tuned.....

Somewhere in there is a talented little boy.