Here's a sample: There was some question about the hospitality of Crawdad after parent Sherri Butoutski complained to local police that the presence of some reporters put her children's—and their pet gerbil—safety at risk. That problem was settled by a special badge distributed to all reporters by the White House that says in big letters, "I AM A MEMBER OF THE PRESS AND MAY POSE A DANGER TO SMALL CHILDREN, PET RODENTS, AND THE 2ND, 5TH, and 6TH AMENDMENTS.”