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In my younger days, while working at Monkey Wards, there was this woman who was so funny, and she had some great one-liners about sex....

When referring to the gentlemens equipment, she always asked with a smirk on her face "How can anything so ugly, feel so good"....When she said that, especially on a Monday morning, we always knew what she had been doing over the weekend...

She had this old man for a neighbor...now he was probably in his 70s and he had a wife, but sex between this old man and his wife had long ago ceased, as she had some sort of back surgery, and her back never properly healed...anyway, that is what she said...

Anyway, even in their younger days, this old man had a girlfriend...now we all lived in the Chicago area, which is northern Illinois, but his girlfriend lived in southern Illinois...he would see her a few times a year, when he had to go down to southern Illinois on business...they both seemed happy with this arrangement, and the wife either did not know about it, or knew, but let it slide...

Long after the man retired, and since his wife cut him off from sex, he still would go down to southern Illinois a few times a year...told his wife, that altho retired, he still acted as a part time consultant for the firm....

So now, hes in his 70s and having a hard time getting an erection....this was of course, before the days of Viagra...but apparently there was some sort of shot, which the old man got the day before he set out on his trip to southern Illinois, for a romantical few days with his old girlfriend...my friend from work, said, she always knew when he was going out of town for some love, because he would come back from the doc, all peppy and grinning...I suppose the doc gave him some sort of Vitamin shot, or some primitive type of Viagra....

My friend from work, tho, used to say, "Ah, I dont care what the doc gave him, when a man gets that old, its still like trying to slip a marshmallow into a gumball slot"