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To: Orual
Please explain heightened radiation etc. around crop circles.
425 posted on 08/05/2002 12:58:50 PM PDT by rwfromkansas
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To: rwfromkansas
Please explain heightened radiation etc. around crop circles.

BWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

What radiation? At what frequency? As measured how? What's the power spectral density? And heightened as compared to what exactly? Please be specific.

Why didn't you even read the crop-maker rules for selecting the construction site before posting that one?

431 posted on 08/05/2002 1:15:15 PM PDT by balrog666
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To: rwfromkansas; dighton; aculeus; general_re
Please explain heightened radiation etc. around crop circles.

After an exhaustive search, I found the following explanation which may answer your question.

"Go to a location containing a crop circle and think this phrase: "I shall resist and fight the omnipresent extraterrestrial nightmare for the freedom of our planet." Now be alert! Very soon, you should be able to observe an alien, seemingly engaged in innocent activity, spying on you. It may be a jogger in the street, a friendly neighbor, a beautiful woman, but rest assured: you are being watched.

You must take these simple steps to protect yourself from the radioactive Proteus devices planted under the crop circles:

1. Construct protective headgear- purchase a roll of aluminum foil (but not from the alien-owned "Wal-Mart") and line the inside of a hat with a double layer. Wear this at all times! This seemingly crude fashion statement blocks the aliens' Proteus waves.

2. After your thoughts have been protected, carefully destroy the crop circle. Obtain a large shovel or hoe, and destroy it. Remove the Proteus device you will find underneath. Smash it to bits.

3. Place the debris in the microwave, and set it on "high" for ten minutes. Disregard any smoke and/or flames that may shoot from the microwave. After all, isn't it worth a microwave to be sure you have eradicated the alien presence from the earth?

4. Place the melted debris inside a plastic baggy, and wrap the baggy in three layers of aluminum foil. Wait until midnight, then take the remains outside city limits. Bury them in a hole six feet deep beside the highway.

However, in some cases, these steps may not be enough- the aliens could have planted multiple radioactive Proteus devices. If you have reason to suspect that the aliens have other Proteus devices secreted in the field, you have only one option: burn it down. Only once the Proteus-infested field is reduced to smoldering rubble will you again feel the peace of knowing that your thoughts are truly your own."


463 posted on 08/05/2002 2:22:38 PM PDT by Orual
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