Posted on 07/06/2002 5:00:19 AM PDT by buccaneer81
Insightful post.
What you said.
I thank God every day that I didn't marry either of the guys I was engaged to when I was young (19 for the first, 21 for the second).
I also thank Him several times a day for sending me Xena's Guy. XG is the reason, I think, that God didn't let me marry either of those two losers . . . He knew there was someone better for me out there!
It's like Bush-bashing...automatic and reflexive.
On the surface, you couldn't find two more dissimilar men than my dad and Xena's Guy. Dad's a big, boisterous, beer-drinkin', story-tellin' redneck who works with his hands and never met a stranger . . . XG is slender, quiet, musical, a techno-geek, and a listener so intense it freaks out people like me who come from a family of talkers.
But when it comes to character - integrity, honesty, work ethic, love of God and country, sticking by your woman and doing her right - well, I married my dad.
However women were never even close to power in countries which became Islamic. In fact, one of the initial appeals of Islam was that it forbid the common practice of exposure of unwanted female infants.
Nor were they ever close to power in the other regions you mentioned hence that thesis is questionable at best.
I think you missed the point of the observation...it's equally valid of little boys and mothers. It's the first oppositesex relationship. It's universally accepted that the quality of your parental relationship will influence the quality of your marital relationship.
It's not ironclad, but a valid tendency.
The voice of experience, I see...
You admit you know nothing of the situations, yet you feel you know enough to judge them...why is that?
That is the subject of this thread,after all...
Well, I think that's a conclusion he would have to draw on his own. If you can get him to ponder what signs he may have missed, it will occur to him to wonder why he missed them.
That is the point of this thread, correct?
Ah yes, men have responsibilities, but women have choices...I'm amazed at the number of people who are outside a marriage, but think they know what's going on inside it.
It's possible you do, but I'd bet you don't...
Good Lord man where did you find this? it's like 3 years old. I don't even know what I posted then much less do I feel the need to find out.
Yup, I've been posting to a dead thread.
You're one of the smart ones who knew what qualities to look for in a woman. It sounds like you didn't try to meet a trophy type in some bar, you didn't pick the one who was the best in bed or just had the hottest looking body. It's all about choices and choosing carefully.
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One can choose carefully and still end up with a loser. After four kids and 18 years hubby cut lose with a lying and drinking binge that slid the kids from a comfortable 6 figure homeschooled lots of activities life to latchkey kids with no outside activities. I struggle 50hr+ per week to pay bills and put food on the table.
He lost his lucrative business of 25 years(think Big 6 national consultant), all savings, and a good portion of a large retirement cushion. I had him put the remaining assets in my name to forstall more losses. Five years I worked on the marriage, counseling, medical help, inpatient, prayer (he was a church elder too) you name it with him in and out of the house depending on his sobriety or lack of... The drunkeness wasn't as difficult as the lying.
Finally called it quits because there is nothing there. He is still bitter and thinks I took him to the cleaners. Does not see the losses he took as material. He walked away with about 50-50, his in cash, the remaining retirement, and I took the buildings. He works a menial job, (think brooms) lives in a trailer and drives a beater. He still drinks. He tells me he likes his life yet he is a rager these days, and vulgar at times. It is hard to look at him in his little monkey suit with his name on the pocket and remeber the handsome man, impeccably dressed and very competent getting on and off flights and enjoying the most out of his world.
The kids finally have their heads screwed back on, but one can see the pain...Sometimes, no matter what, you end up with a crash and burn. And I am not sorry he feels cheated. He screwed the kids totally.
Time to change the tags!
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