A 'Marriage Strike' Emerges As Men Decide Not To Risk Loss

The Philadelphia Inquirer ^ | July 5, 2002 | Glenn Sacks and Dianna Thompson

[Don Myers]

I think that both men and women have been absent in the marriage. If you put two people together who don't have a clue as to what commitment is about, and who have completely shallow concepts about life, things like adultery and divorce happen.

[Don Myers]

"So glad I married at twenty. We've never been with anyone else, and it wouldn't feel right to be with anyone else."

People who can do these things are bad material for permanent relationships.

[meyer]

There's a lot of women like living like that--maybe not as bad, but Joe Sixpack still isn't pulling his share around the house.

Now, that's one of the interesting sticking points. I think it illustrates one of those fundamental differences between men and women. Why? Because women and men differ greatly on just what needs to be done around the house. Women tend to (in my opinion, of course) overclean the house. I have mine cleaned once every 2 weeks. I clean the garage 2 times a year. Whether it needs it or not. I do dishes daily (almost), 3-4 loads of laundry a week, and mow the grass when it needs it. Throw in a little yard work, oil changes, take out the trash, and that kind of thing and I don't see how anybody needs to spend more than 10 hours a week taking care of the home. And, by the way, I'm not married - its all mine to do or not do.

So, I have to ask; Just how much should Joe Sixpack be doing around the house?

[SouthernFreebird]

Been out swimming today and didn't see alot of this thread till now.......your very enlightened and the men here would do well to listen to you.

......me, I'm a divorcee so therefore I'm obviously just a bitter shrew ;-)

[DennisR]

"Did you read my post?"

Yes, I did.

"These guys are PLAYING while their wives are working at home."

Ah! If they NEVER help around the house, I agree--they are being irresponsible and selfish.

[meyer]

I'm starting to see a pattern here; pure accusations by one person about "these guys playing" and not "carrying their share of work around the house". (Interestingly, it started with one guy in post #535 but suddenly became plural in post #540). But when you inquire as to how much work needs to be done, you get a non-answer.

I may be wrong but I think I'm seeing someone with either a chip on their shoulder or one that will say anything to further the cause.

[buccaneer81]

Oh, brother. You're back.

[Torie]

I am not sure how widespread this model of yours is that husbands expect the wife to work full time and take care of the house and the kids without assistance. And I don't think that is what is driving up divorce rates. The analysis is far too superficial.

[Torie]

Well at least I didn't call you an ambulance chaser lawyer, or an ACLU lawyer. Look to the positive.

[SouthernFreebird]

Just what is your problem with me? Is there one post where I called any man a name? or attacked him? I really don't understand the meaness from some of the men on this thread aimed at me.

[Torie]

Yes verbally kick them in the nuts with sublety and elan dear, if you feel yourself traduced. Men like strong woman, really they do, although that is not admissible in a public fora. But you will probably get freepmails asking you for a date. :)

[Nowhere Man]

Speaking solely for myself, I know that at 25 I was nothing more than an adolescent who shaved more often. She recounts her younger days similarly.

Sometime around the middle of the last century, the worst of all possible combinations arose. Children matured physically at an ever decreasing age, and matured mentally and emotionally at an increasing age.

A good point in itself. I'd say before World War I, people tended to mature a lot quicker then that do now. By the time you were 13 or 14, maybe just a tad bit later, you basically assumed adult resposibilities, if your family needed money, you got a full time job and so on. I talked to one lady where her great-grandmother was 14 when she married her husband and he was like 28, 30 or so. Of course, even then people did get married at an earlier age although age differences were not as huge as the example given above.

It seems like people mature a lot slower, generally, the repsonsibilities that a 14 year old would have 100 years ago would be greater than an 18 year or or even 21+ year old today. In today's world, I don't advocate young marriage like that, heck, it would be like giving a 16 year old the keys to a Ferrari. B-) Still, it is an interesting observation how society has changed that much.

[SouthernFreebird]

Have Mercy! I'm from the South... I had to get the dictionary out for most of that post ;-)

[Jhoffa_]

I bet you had NO IDEA the crapstorm this thread was going to cause..

I know, I sure didn't.

[happytobealive]

What's the record number of posts?

How long will they keep this thread up?

[Jhoffa_]

The record is in the thousands and I have no idea if "chit chat" threads are retained or not.

[3catsanadog]

(Or kill. Remember, till they are born your children aren't "yours" They can be legally murdered.)

Shoot, I'm beginning to suspect a trend among women who, I suspect, are discovering that many men don't want to marry women with children - so they do away with the kids, ala Susan Smith, and the recent reports of the women who "forgot" their babies in the car when it's 90 degrees out.