Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode, where Georges dad sat on a pasta sculpture of Jerry, made by Kramer...they had to take Georges dad to the proctologist(Nicknamed the AssMan), in order to have said sculpture removed from his butt...
The gas stove story also reminds me of an incident with my mothers mom...my mothers mom was what could only described as a good hearted, but simple woman...she really was loved by one and all, as she would do anything for you, help anybody anywhere if she could...but she was not at all educated(I dont know if she ever went much to school), and she really was a bit simple, now that I ponder it...
Anyway, she had this gas stove in the house, which anytime you wanted to use the oven, you had to turn the knob for the gas, and then when you heard the jet stream of gas, immediately you needed to put a lighted match there, to get the pilot going...
One time, when she turned the knob for the gas to start going on, she could not find the matches right away...so instead of turning off the pilot, while she looked for the matches, she just left it, walked away to find the matches...
It did not take her long to find the matches, but long enough, so that when she lit the pilot, finally, it was enough to set her hair on fire, singe her eyebrows off, and burn her face...
Poor grandma, we grandkids sure got a kick out of the way she looked...at the time, we did not realize that what she had done could have killed her and the rest of the family, and burned the house down...but we were just little kids, and thought grandma just looked so funny...
Good grief, now I am telling stories about my moms family...