Study reveals what big-city women really want: Men with money

Cornell News ^ | FOR RELEASE: May 29, 2002 | Roger Segelken

[vannrox]

Biologist's reading of lonely-hearts personal ads reveals what big-city women really want: Men with money

FOR RELEASE: May 29, 2002

Contact: Roger Segelken
Office: 607-255-9736
E-Mail: hrs2@cornell.edu

ITHACA, N.Y. -- Kevin J. McGraw, a biologist at Cornell University, knew what female birds and other animals in crowded, resource-scarce environments look for in their mates: males with potential to materially care for females and their offspring. But what about the human animal? What do women really want, McGraw wondered, as he read thousands of lonely-hearts personal ads in newspapers from 23 American cities. After two months of research, the graduate student in Cornell's Department of Neurobiology and Behavior concludes, "In densely populated and resource-demanding environments, birds and women may not be all that different."

Where resources are at a premium -- expensive, big cities from San Francisco to Boston -- so are the men who can provide them, says McGraw. In such densely populated places, personal ads indicate that male-provided material comforts seem more important to women than do emotional or intellectual aspects of a relationship. But in medium- and smaller-sized cities, the biologist's reading of newspaper personal ads found the opposite: Women place more emphasis on emotional aspects or personal interests of potential mates, and less on materialism.

McGraw comments: "This study emphasizes the flexibility of mating strategies, depending on the environments individuals find themselves in. The rich guys don't always win. And the nice guys don't always finish last -- although they might have to move to be found by the right mate."

The personal-ad reader, whose more traditional scientific studies -- the effects of diet, genetics and physiology on birds' plumage color, for example -- have taken him to natural habitats around the world, published his findings, "Environmental Predictors of Geographic Variation in Human Mating Preferences," in Ethology (Vol. 108, pp. 303-317), a European journal of behavioral studies.

Physical attractiveness -- the male attribute that seems to motivate women in the popular television series, "Sex and the City" -- does not vary with geographic location or city size, McGraw discovered. Women across the country, who in their personal ads stated preferences for attractive men, were the same ones who also boasted of physical appeal, such as "attractive, blue-eyed blonde."

New York City, the setting for "Sex and the City," was not included in the study because the city's daily newspapers publish too few lonely hearts ads to offer a representative sample. The largest city in the sample was Los Angeles and the smallest was Montgomery, Ala.

Among large cities where female ad-writers rate men who are good providers over men who are good listeners, San Francisco ranked first -- followed by Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago and Miami, in that order. However, money is much less important to women in St. Louis and Kansas City, with The Big Easy (New Orleans) and Montgomery, Ala., tying for honors as places where women care about things other than income.

Comparing human mate-choice strategies to those of other animals, McGraw says women seeking resource-rich men use phrases like "financially stable" and "professional and intelligent." And those attributes "are important to animals, too, when natural resources are in short supply and the cost of living is high," he adds, nothing that the same species of animals in less crowded environments might have the luxury of looking for other attributes in potential mates.

However, the emotional aspects of interest to women -- such as honesty, compassion and sincerity -- are harder to judge in non-human animals, the biologist says, "although we might look for a male's attentiveness to his mate as a sign of commitment." Regarding shared personal interests, he says, "It's hard for us to put a finger on the hobbies of wild animals, but if you wanted to impress a bird, you might escort her to a foraging site or sing a song with her."

Asked to write a personal ad that would accurately portray himself, McGraw says the advertisement certainly wouldn't emphasize money -- "not on a graduate student's income!"

Besides, a mate already has found McGraw, and he doesn't have time to read newspaper ads these days. He and his wife are expecting their first child in August.

-30-

Syntax and the City: Lonely-hearts ad language reveals where money matters and sincerity slides Desired traits in women-seeking-men personal advertisements in 23 American newspapers, expressed as percentages of all words in ads . Boldface percentages are highest in each category; underlined are the lowest Source: "Environmental Predictors of Geographic Variation in Human Mating Preferences" (Ethology, Vol. 108, pp. 303-331) by Kevin J. McGraw, Cornell University Department of Neurobiology and Behavior.

	Physical	Resources	Emotional	Hobbies
Atlanta, GA	32%	19%	31%	17%
Boston, MA	30	23	35	13
Buffalo, NY	37	16	38	9
Charlotte, NC	29	17	34	20
Chicago, IL	33	22	32	14
Cleveland, OH	35	20	30	15
Denver, CO	31	16	31	22
Detroit, MI	35	18	30	18
Hartford, CT	31	17	36	16
Houston, TX	25	16	34	24
Kansas City, MO	3	13	37	20
Los Angeles, CA	33	24	36	7
Miami, FL	28	21	33	19
Montgomery, AL	21	12	38	29
New Orleans, LA	35	12	32	22
Orlando, FL	32	16	35	17
Philadelphia, PA	33	18	31	18
Pittsburgh, PA	30	18	35	18
Salt Lake City, UT	23	18	33	26
San Francisco, CA	34	28	27	11
Seattle, WA	28	17	29	25
St. Louis, MO	29	14	35	22
Washington, DC	42	18	27	13

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Great post! I wish someone had said those things to me many years ago. I had to learn my lesson the hard way. For so many people, marriage is a goal achieved; an ending, not a beginning. There are many practical aspects. No woman should have to put up with someone who is a mooch and sucks the life force right out of her. Likewise, a man is reasonable to expect certain qualities in a woman.

[sarasmom]

LOL! I have no "method" of selecting. But I recently found out my substitute "Airborne" guy is a single /straight/conservative, despite his earring.I have since had reason to require a daily pick up.LOL!

I was highly perturbed when I had a male co-worker in the area at close of business today who unintentionally interfered with me and my potential new boyfriend!LOL.

It is my Birthday this weekend and I had already picked out my gift.....LOL!

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Happy Birthday and I hope you get lots of presents;-)

[AmishDude]

For so many people, marriage is a goal achieved

It has been my observation that very few of them are male-type people.

I don't know if there are any "groom" magazines!

[AmishDude]

a single /straight/conservative, despite his earring

He's a pirate?

A little "Happy Birthday" fantasy for ya!

[sarasmom]

Thank you!

Sara is healthy and happy, so anything else is icing on the cake...But ..that Airborne guy would not have dropped me in a deep dance dip..sigh!

[xrp]

First, you say you 'hunt' women.

Slang for "meeting women". I'm far, FAR from a player or someone that would jerk a woman around. My experience has been much to the opposite ;) I end up being jerked around.

Second, are you overlooking the 'less than perfect at first sight' girls?

Absolutely not. The face and body last about 10-15 years, that's assuming age 22-28 range for the woman(en) that I converse with. Men get fat, too. I realise this. The mind is forever and that's what will make my heart succumb. And oddly enough, I really do not find myself attracted to the old standard of "blonde hair blue eyes" rather I prefer brown hair and brown eyes but by no means limit myself. However, being healthy is important. I would not consider dating an overweight woman because I view regular exercise as important and a sign that one takes care of herself. I workout for 60-90 minutes every weekday to stay fit. While I don't expect a woman to have to be a workout-a-holic, she should be important about being healthy. This means no smoking.

You don't begin a marriage planning for the divorce.

I personally know of FIVE close friends who married Atlanta women. EACH of them were done in by their "wives" or "soulmates". A couple got severely depressed for awhile and they are out thousands of dollars, not to mention physical property. I don't see a prenup as planning for divorce so much as protecting FROM divorce. Times are much different than from my parents' generation.

I mean no offense by this.

None taken. Without questions, there can be no answers.

[sarasmom]

Since I live in Gasparilla land, pirates are considered good catches! Pity one has to throw most of them back....LOL

[Pistias]

LOL--a.k.a., the Pink Truck Brigade.

[glorygirl]

This seems to be a popular topic of debate on FR.

At least among men.

Trust me, the spammers are wrong.

[AmishDude]

I'm sorry, I don't follow. Gasparilla? I'm sure once you explain, it won't be funny anymore, but now I'm curious.

[glorygirl]

Has it ever occurred to any of the guys out there that many women would like to be able to stay home and raise their kids?

This can't happen if the husband doesn't make any money.

It's not always a money-grubbing thing.

[Dan from Michigan]

God, I love the country.

[Revolting cat!]

Well, I'm a man with money and I want a big-titty woman!

[Dan from Michigan]

"You can't hide yer lyin' eyes"

[AmishDude]

Has it ever occurred to any of the guys out there that many women would like to be able to stay home and raise their kids?

I sure would! I can do my math research during naptimes. It would be awesome!

Seriously, I think that would be an example of putting the cart before the horse.

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

a.k.a the Pink Truck Brigade

nnnoooooo!!!!! Oh God nooooooo!!!! Why does that always happen........*sob*

[goodnesswins]

I see no problems with a pre-nup - I signed one (my husband had been "burned" before)......any woman who doesn't understand that doesn't understand today's marriage (and divorce) environment - which is there are some you can trust, and there are some you cannot, and figuring out which can be VERY difficult. That's not meant to offend a woman who IS trustworthy, it's just the facts.

[Pistias]

God, I love the country

Amen!

[AmishDude]

"Desperado", "Witchy Woman", I think the whole Eagles oeuvre could resolve this subject entirely.