Study reveals what big-city women really want: Men with money

Cornell News ^ | FOR RELEASE: May 29, 2002 | Roger Segelken

[vannrox]

Biologist's reading of lonely-hearts personal ads reveals what big-city women really want: Men with money

FOR RELEASE: May 29, 2002

Contact: Roger Segelken
Office: 607-255-9736
E-Mail: hrs2@cornell.edu

ITHACA, N.Y. -- Kevin J. McGraw, a biologist at Cornell University, knew what female birds and other animals in crowded, resource-scarce environments look for in their mates: males with potential to materially care for females and their offspring. But what about the human animal? What do women really want, McGraw wondered, as he read thousands of lonely-hearts personal ads in newspapers from 23 American cities. After two months of research, the graduate student in Cornell's Department of Neurobiology and Behavior concludes, "In densely populated and resource-demanding environments, birds and women may not be all that different."

Where resources are at a premium -- expensive, big cities from San Francisco to Boston -- so are the men who can provide them, says McGraw. In such densely populated places, personal ads indicate that male-provided material comforts seem more important to women than do emotional or intellectual aspects of a relationship. But in medium- and smaller-sized cities, the biologist's reading of newspaper personal ads found the opposite: Women place more emphasis on emotional aspects or personal interests of potential mates, and less on materialism.

McGraw comments: "This study emphasizes the flexibility of mating strategies, depending on the environments individuals find themselves in. The rich guys don't always win. And the nice guys don't always finish last -- although they might have to move to be found by the right mate."

The personal-ad reader, whose more traditional scientific studies -- the effects of diet, genetics and physiology on birds' plumage color, for example -- have taken him to natural habitats around the world, published his findings, "Environmental Predictors of Geographic Variation in Human Mating Preferences," in Ethology (Vol. 108, pp. 303-317), a European journal of behavioral studies.

Physical attractiveness -- the male attribute that seems to motivate women in the popular television series, "Sex and the City" -- does not vary with geographic location or city size, McGraw discovered. Women across the country, who in their personal ads stated preferences for attractive men, were the same ones who also boasted of physical appeal, such as "attractive, blue-eyed blonde."

New York City, the setting for "Sex and the City," was not included in the study because the city's daily newspapers publish too few lonely hearts ads to offer a representative sample. The largest city in the sample was Los Angeles and the smallest was Montgomery, Ala.

Among large cities where female ad-writers rate men who are good providers over men who are good listeners, San Francisco ranked first -- followed by Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago and Miami, in that order. However, money is much less important to women in St. Louis and Kansas City, with The Big Easy (New Orleans) and Montgomery, Ala., tying for honors as places where women care about things other than income.

Comparing human mate-choice strategies to those of other animals, McGraw says women seeking resource-rich men use phrases like "financially stable" and "professional and intelligent." And those attributes "are important to animals, too, when natural resources are in short supply and the cost of living is high," he adds, nothing that the same species of animals in less crowded environments might have the luxury of looking for other attributes in potential mates.

However, the emotional aspects of interest to women -- such as honesty, compassion and sincerity -- are harder to judge in non-human animals, the biologist says, "although we might look for a male's attentiveness to his mate as a sign of commitment." Regarding shared personal interests, he says, "It's hard for us to put a finger on the hobbies of wild animals, but if you wanted to impress a bird, you might escort her to a foraging site or sing a song with her."

Asked to write a personal ad that would accurately portray himself, McGraw says the advertisement certainly wouldn't emphasize money -- "not on a graduate student's income!"

Besides, a mate already has found McGraw, and he doesn't have time to read newspaper ads these days. He and his wife are expecting their first child in August.

-30-

Syntax and the City: Lonely-hearts ad language reveals where money matters and sincerity slides Desired traits in women-seeking-men personal advertisements in 23 American newspapers, expressed as percentages of all words in ads . Boldface percentages are highest in each category; underlined are the lowest Source: "Environmental Predictors of Geographic Variation in Human Mating Preferences" (Ethology, Vol. 108, pp. 303-331) by Kevin J. McGraw, Cornell University Department of Neurobiology and Behavior.

	Physical	Resources	Emotional	Hobbies
Atlanta, GA	32%	19%	31%	17%
Boston, MA	30	23	35	13
Buffalo, NY	37	16	38	9
Charlotte, NC	29	17	34	20
Chicago, IL	33	22	32	14
Cleveland, OH	35	20	30	15
Denver, CO	31	16	31	22
Detroit, MI	35	18	30	18
Hartford, CT	31	17	36	16
Houston, TX	25	16	34	24
Kansas City, MO	3	13	37	20
Los Angeles, CA	33	24	36	7
Miami, FL	28	21	33	19
Montgomery, AL	21	12	38	29
New Orleans, LA	35	12	32	22
Orlando, FL	32	16	35	17
Philadelphia, PA	33	18	31	18
Pittsburgh, PA	30	18	35	18
Salt Lake City, UT	23	18	33	26
San Francisco, CA	34	28	27	11
Seattle, WA	28	17	29	25
St. Louis, MO	29	14	35	22
Washington, DC	42	18	27	13

[TJFLSTRAT]

All you have to do is drive a new car, have nice clothes, and spend time in any "palookaville" around the country. Here in my neck of the woods it would be the town of "Land O Lakes Fl". Lots of young single moms, that work at the "Kash 'N' Karry" making $6.00 an hour. All looking for a meal ticket out, and a provider for the children they began squeezing out at age 14. EASY "PICKINS"INDEED.

[sarasmom]

Gasparilla is the Tampa Bay Area version of Mardi Gras.Pirates "invade" the city every year around here. Major parades, beads thrown,the "pillars" of the community dress in elaborate costumes, used to be good natured fun. Nowadays it is more a drunken stumble like Guavaween, but pirates are still respected 'round here.

Floridians have secret rituals the tourists are not informed of. LOL

[Dan from Michigan]

Desperado....one of the greatest songs ever recorded.

[anniegetyourgun]

A lovely love story, CBB. Almost as romantic as mine.....

[Polybius]

Women want men with money and men want women with sex appeal. What a shock. You mean this is why Anna Nicole Smith married an 92 year-old billionaire and vice versa?

My Jewish medical colleague told me this one so it must be P.C.

(Told with Jewish New York accent): A 95 year old Jewish billionaire and a 23 year old Playboy Playmate of the Year decided to get married. It was one of those True Love things. The billionaire goes to see his doctor for his pre-marital blood test.

"Aaron", says the Doctor, "I've been your Doctor and friend for 30 years, haven't I"

"Yes, you have."

"Belive me then, you just have to re-consider this marriage", says the Doctor. "Sex between a 23 year-old woman and a 95 year-old man could prove fatal."

"Well, Doctah, if she dies, she dies!"

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

I agree with almost everything you said, except the prenup. I'm not in your parents' generation. I'm 35. I was burned before too. Long ugly story, but I was married for a year in my early twenties. The guy was a mooch, big time. After we separated he managed to access my savings account and used it to take his new girlfriend on vacation to Las Vegas. I know about users. I didn't have a lot but I had more than he did. He came into the picture with virtually nothing and left with half of everything. I was just glad to be rid of him. You learn more about a person during a divorce than you ever suspected.

I still don't go for the prenup business. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. A prenup makes the statement that there is no trust. I will never sign one and I'll take it as a gift that prevents another bad marriage for me.

[Centurion2000]

When I was young and still not financially successful, I had a very hard time getting a girl to give me the time of day. Now that I have a nice house and a comfortable income, women are constantly flirting with me. I am fortunate in that I have a genuine desire to keep my marriage together and will not even consider cheating on my wife. I'm sticking with the one who married me before I had any money!

BINGO ..... at times though part of me will wonder about the temptations of the flesh. Then I ask myself, would I pay a million dollars (literally) to have sex with a woman ? Nope. Sometimes thinking about the wallet becomes an awesome defense against temptation. I love my wife and even she understands that guys and gals look from time to time; just don't touch.

[AmishDude]

Desperado....one of the greatest songs ever recorded.

I knew it! You're that guy on Seinfeld!

"Witch-ay Woman"

[sarasmom]

Shudder! A FReeper close to me with that attitude.

You aint really from around heah are ya?

Dont go away mad...just go away.

[F16Fighter]

"The Pink Trunk Brigade"

Yep, and nevermind the dogs -- these guys are definitely 'man's best friend'.

[anniegetyourgun]

#58 is such sage advice. And another thing my dear ol' ma used to say - 'it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is with a poor man!' No, I never really understood that old saying because a good woman can make a poor man rich. Character counts - for both the man AND the woman, eh?

[anniegetyourgun]

As much as I like Dals.....

[Dan from Michigan]

Seinfeld? LOL. Ain't me. I'm from the country. Livingston County Michigan, the exact opposite of NYC.

[AmishDude]

a good woman can make a poor man rich

Behind every great man, there is a woman . . . whispering in his ear . . . telling him how worthless he is!

[AmishDude]

Oh, and the best song ever recorded was Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meat Loaf. Phil Rizzuto alone is worth the price of admission.

[AmishDude]

I must say, seriously, I admire your romantic spirit.

Becoming bitter and cynical would have been far easier. And, frankly, . . . it's a lot more fun!

[goodnesswins]

"telling him how worthless he is"

Oh, c'mon....that all depends upon what HE'S been whispering in HER EAR.....

[AmishDude]

Oh, c'mon....that all depends upon what HE'S been whispering in HER EAR.....

Touché :)

[Canticle_of_Deborah]

Oh the bitterness and cynicism is there too, trust me! It just manifests in different ways and isn't due to that experience alone.

[rolling_stone]

"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, `What does a woman want?'"

Q: What is the difference between men and women... >> > >> > A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. >> > >> > A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need >> >