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STARING:
TOM CRUISE – LAWYER
JACK NICHOLSON – ARTHUR ANDERSEN AUDIT OFFICER
Tom Cruise: “Did you order the shredding?”
Jack Nicholson: “You want answers?”
Tom Cruise: “I think I’m entitled.”
Jack Nicholson: “You want answers!!”
Tom Cruise: “I want the truth!”
Jack Nicholson: “You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has financial statements. And those financial statements have to be audited by men with calculators. Who’s gonna do it? You? Dept. of Justice? KMPG? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Enron and you curse Andersen. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Enron’s death, while tragic, occurred because we were trying to save investors. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves investors. You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that audit. You need me on that audit! We use words like materiality, risk-based, special purpose entity, control reliance. We use these words as the backbone to a life spent auditing something. You use ‘em as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very “risk-assurance” I proved, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I’d prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a pencil and work on an audit. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!!”
Tom Cruise: “Did you order the shredding????”
Jack Nicholson: “You’re damn right I did!”