I'm no Martha Stewart

my e-mail | e-mailed today | No idea

[NeoCaveman]

Martha's Way #10: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

The Real Women's Way: Leftover wine??????

Thought you'd like this one.

[RikaStrom]

LOL! Of course.

[mombonn]

LOL - I just found this. Please add me to your humor break list! I'm usually in the activism forum, and forget to check the general interest threads!

Can't wait to read the replies - they're usually even better than the original post!

[Bella_Bru]

We actually have wine glasses, but they are too small for my liking.

[hobbes1]

Me too. Nice Crystal Goblets. A nice size, but I am usually too drunk to pour correctly! ; )

[riley1992]

Hahahaha. My mom e-mailed me this a few months back and she purposefully highlighted the wine part for me. I cannot imagine why......

[whoever]

Thanks for the ping. This is a very entertaining thread. I had lots of laughs here.

[PennsylvaniaMom]

One of the funniest tapes I have is from a Martha Stewart Christmas special (from about three years ago). Miss Piggy was a guest, and was featured in Martha's segment on how to make the perfect gingerbread house. But, this being Martha, it was more like a Georgian Revival Gingerbread Manse (in fact Martha had one of her home contractors on hand to assist with the 'building.') Miss Piggy was flirting with the contractor, and at one point remarked to Martha, 'How long did it take to build this thing...18,000 man hours?' Martha was ACTUALLY trying to correct Miss Piggys' concerns that the flour and sugar in that house could have fed a third world country. Oh...it was hysterical. No wait...IT WAS A GOOD THING.

[Dubya]

Erma was a queen.

Thanks for the bump, I'm going to learn how to do that someday.

[Dubya]

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

by Erma Bombeck

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner, even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was my only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love yous".. more "I'm sorrys"... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... Live it... and never give it back.

Don't forget to stop and smell the roses today! Take time to tell a loved one how much you love them, do something nice for yourself, and stop to give God thanks for all of it.

[farmfriend]

BTTT

[patriciaruth]

LOL at the Redneck Etiquette.

Finally, I get to send my brother some redneck humor he hasn't found first. Thanks!

Thanks, Kayak, for the fun ping.

[Steve0113]

ping

[Happygal]

Do you know any of the other freeperettes that would like this?

Hey where was my ping! *L* I'm more James Stewart than Martha! *L*

[farmfriend]

Good or bad, I seem to know more men freepers than women. But then it is hard to tell from most of the handles who is which.

[christie]

Thanks for the ping. I needed the laugh.

[Carolinamom]

PLEASE put me on your humor ping list! I enjoyed this thread so much.....need more of 'em these days. (nevermind that 'apple a day keeps' stuff.....Laughter IS a good thing!)

[Vigilantcitizen]

Please tell me how I was being cruel?

That was not the intention.

[farmfriend]

Showing me a plate of beautiful fish when I can't have any is just plain cruel. I will get over it however. : )

[Vigilantcitizen]

OK. Then I was being "cruel".:)