If they ever dry out, I just chop up my leaves with the lawnmower. I don't rake!
I am with your wife... I love the shade of the trees... and since moving here and getting horses, I am no longer particularly concerned about my lawn. I used to obsess on the lawn in a prior life... I block off and re-seed the frequent dog-paths that become mud in winter, but I don't care if it is weeds or grass that come in, as long as it is green and covers the dirt. I only fear and loathe my trees during our infrequent severe winds or occasional Ice storms where I fear they will break. There are limbs on some of the surrounding firs that are big enough to go through my roof. But I would not give them up in summer when they keep me cool!
My dad and I would joke about you... A marriage of the "tree hater" and the "tree lover". ;~D Our neighbor where we grew up was a tree hater. He systematically cut down every tree on his property, and then started trying to get us to cut down the ones on our property that were too close to him. We refused. He had attorneys write us letters. We chuckled. He cut every limb from our trees that crossed his property line. We gasped at how ugly the trees were from his side after that, and how pretty they were from our side.
When we put that house up for sale, we carefully screened the buyers in the hope that whoever bought the property would continue our fight. The buyer that bought it loved the big cedar tree and vowed to never let it fall in his lifetime! ;~D
I am with your wife... I love the shade of the trees... I like the shade too. But I am mainly concerned about 1) branches falling from the trees. We've had several fall over the dry summer and 2) the fact that I have no grass in the back and my land is washing into the neighbor's back yard.
The new neighbors are okay with it and are actually doing things to prevent the runoff into their yard. I'm trying to help too by planting a buffer.
But our previous neighbors were a different story. When hurricane Fran came through in 1996, she called and told us she feared our oak that was leaning into her yard. We eventually spent $3,000 to have trees removed that could potentially fall on her house.
When hurricane Floyd came through in 1999 (or 98?) she called and complained about the water running into her yard. Of course those six trees used to block that and in the middle of Floyd (after Dennis had parked off of the coast for two weeks), water was everywhere...
Mainly, I want a back yard I can fence in for the boys and the dog with some grass they can play in. Now that the inside is basically done (we still have some work) and the outside is done with the siding, I can work on the actual yard. I've been planting things for spring, and need to sow some grass.