With the exception of the seppuku advice, that reminds me of an incident a coule years ago.
2 buddies were deer hunting in Virginia. One guy came down out of his tree stand, as he suddenly had to "go," and the other guy, not realizing that it was his friend, fired his rifle at the guy and shot him in the butt.
Trying to explain his way out of this to the cops and game warden, the guy said he thought his friend's butt was a turkey.
'Course that didn't get him out of hot water at all, because turkey season didn't start for another couple weeks.
Most every year some dummy shoots someone's steer. I always figure it's someone who hasn't put in the time to figure out how to really hunt, or what it's really all about, and just feels like shooting something.