It should not be that hard to see that we have to stop repelling the people we are trying to attract to our side! What an odd notion!
All who wish to swim upstream can come here: CONTROVERSY AFTER PEOPLE MAG PICTURES CHELSEA CLINTON IN 'AROUSED' STATE
Sure, I agree with you there, attacks can be reserved for folks like Hillary that are obviouly evil, but otherwise, harsh attacks are probably more counterproductive.
As someone who has raised two kids to adulthood, I know well that you are right, harsh words usually produce resentment and make your kids feel like embracing the opposite of what you wish. There is a place for harsh words, but it is usually a last resort, they ought to be used carefully and not very often :-)