I think OT covered this one pretty well below, but I'll comment too.... I think the main problem is the Lorien elves, and Haldir and Co. specifically. The blindfold, remember, was just insisted upon for Gimli. It was the choice of the rest of the Fellowship to be blindfolded. There was a friendliness extended to most of the fellowship, especially when they hid them in the trees at night. I think OT said it best that they were cautious as opposed to arrogant.
And I think overall the book-elves just seem "brighter". They laugh a lot, they sing a lot, etc. It's almost as if while the book elves might have been standoffish too, their laughter and singing made up for whatever reservedness they had towards non-elves.
You have been able to say it better than I have. But you do mirror my sentiments exactly. As much as I like Legolas in the movie, I do prefer the elves in book over the movie portrayal of them.