Posted on 03/14/2002 5:07:26 AM PST by HairOfTheDog
This is a continuation of the infamous thread New Zealander Builds Hobbit Hole originally posted on January 26, 2001 by John Farson, who at the time undoubtedly thought he had found a rather obscure article that would elicit a few replies and die out. Without knowing it, he became the founder of the Hobbit Hole. For reasons incomprehensible to some, the thread grew to over 4100 replies. It became the place for hobbits and friends of hobbits to chit chat and share LoTR news and views, hang out, and talk amongst ourselves in the comfort of familiar surroundings.
In keeping with the new posting guidelines, the thread idea is continuing here, as will the Green Dragon Inn, our more structured spin-off thread, as soon as we figure out how to move all the good discussion that has been had there. As for the Hobbit Hole, we will just start fresh, bringing only a few mathoms such as the picture above with us to make it feel like home, and perhaps a walk down memory lane:
Our discussion has been light:
It very well may be that a thread named "New Zealander builds Hobbit hole" will end up being the longest Tolkien thread of them all, with some of the best heartfelt content... Sorry John, but I would have rather it had been one with a more distinguished title!… post 252 - HairOfTheDog
However, I can still celebrate, with quiet dignity, the fact that what started as a laugh about some wacko in New Zealand has mutated and grown into a multifaceted discussion of the art, literature, and philosophy that is Tolkien. And now that I've managed to write the most pompous sentence of my entire life, I agree, Rosie… post 506 - JenB
Hah! I was number 1000!! (Elvish victory dance... wait, no; that would be too flitty) … post 1001 - BibChr
Real men don't have to be afraid of being flitty! Go for it. – post 1011 – HairOfTheDog
Seventeen years to research one mystical object seems a bit excessive… post 1007 - JenB
Okay...who's the wise guy who didn't renew Gandalf's research grant?… post 1024 – Overtaxed
To the very philosophical:
…Judas Iscariot obviously was a good man, or he wouldn't have been chosen to be one of the Apostles. He loved Jesus, like all of the Apostles, but he betrayed him. Yet without his betrayal, the Passion and Crucifixion would never have occurred, and mankind would not have been redeemed. So without his self-destruction infinite good would not have been accomplished. I certainly do not mean this to be irreverant but it seems to me that this describes the character of Gollum, in the scenes so movingly portrayed above… Lucius Cornelius Sulla
To fun but heartfelt debates about the integrity and worth of some of the characters…
…Anyone else notice how Boromir treats the hobbits? He's very fond of them but he seems to think of them as children - ruffling Frodo's hair, calls them all 'little ones'. He likes them, but I don't think he really respects them… post 1536 - JenB
Yes... Tolkien told us not to trust Boromir right off the bat when he began to laugh at Bilbo, until he realized that the Council obviously held this hobbit in high esteem. What a pompous dolt… post 1538 - HairOfTheDog
…I think almost every fault of his can be traced directly back to his blindness to anything spiritual or unseen. He considers the halflings as children, because that is what they look like. He considers the only hope of the ring to be in taking it and using it for a victory in the physical realm. He cannot see what the hobbits are truly made of, he cannot see the unseen hope of what the destruction of the ring might mean--the destruction of Sauron himself, and he cannot see the unseen danger that lies in the use of the ring itself… I just feel sorry for Boromir--he is like a blind but honorable man, trying to take the right path on the road but missing the right path entirely because he simply cannot see it… post 1548 - Penny1
Boromir isn't a jerk, he's a jock… post 2401 – Overtaxed
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Oh, I think by the time Frodo reaches the Cracks, he's not even himself anymore! I think he's not only on the brink of a dangerous place physically, he's on the brink of losing himself completely during the exchange with Gollum. But for some reason, the take-over isn't complete till he actually has to throw the Ring in. The person speaking to Gollum is not Frodo, but the "Wheel of Fire" that Sam sees. After the Ring is destroyed, Frodo not only comes back to himself, but comes back with the unbearable (to him) knowledge of what it's like to be completely without compassion. I think that's why it's so important to him to be compassionate in the Shire… post 2506 - 2Jedismom
…Regarding Frodo's compassion... it's a little too much at the end. Even Merry tells him that he's going to have to quit being so darn nice. But you're right. He's learned a lesson about evil that very few ever learn since it wasn't an external lesson but an internal one. (Those kinds of lessons have the greatest impact) Not only did he totally succumb to it, but he was rather ruthless to my little Smeagol… post 2516 - carton253
Well that Frodo was a big mean bully! (to Smeagol)… post 2519 – Overtaxed
So as you can see, everything JRR Tolkien (and Peter Jackson) is welcome here in our New Row, our soon-to-be familiar New Hobbit Hole…; philosophy, opinion, good talk and frequent silliness.
Yep, that really works! We used to get ginger-ale or ginger tea when we were sick to our stomach.
Mmm....sounds good.
Merry, I'm hungry!
Steve was on call and slept on the couch like he usually does anyway when he's on call (he collects rainwater for analysis). He left at 3:45am! Yuck, poor guy!
OT, how would I give him ginger? Like a tea? He likes tea and drinks both my PG Tips and the chamomile.
It's BEEN cold enough here...especially in our conference room. I swear they purposely keep that room like a freezer, just to keep us awake!
I've taken to making a travel mug full of tea just before meetings, so I can keep my hands warm!
Ginger ale would work too if he doesn't like tea.
Naw...we've kept our Hole pretty clean. It's all over there.
I admit it's kinda fun to stir 'im up. Except, of course, that he doesn't think logically. We discuss the good vs evil in LOTR, so therefore we must not be fighting evil in real life? Uh...I don't see the connection.
Where did we get the other docs, at the Yahoo Hole? Don't tell me John and Bruce actually typed those in by hand!? Maybe Tom Bombadil is available somewhere already?
KAMIKAZE SCOTSMEN (We see Edinburgh Castle at dusk. The lone piper is silhouetted against the crimson-streaked sky.)
Jeremy (Michael Palin): (voice over) The lone piper on the battlements of Edinburgh Castle...
(There are a few bars of bagpipe music. Suddenly there is a scream and he disappears. Cut to interior of stone-walled guardroom inside Edinburgh Castle. Ten kilted Scottish guardsmen with bagpipes in a line. A sergeant major at the door taps one on the shoulder.)
RSM (Terry Jones): Next!
(The next goes outside. We hear pipes start, the sergeant smiles. Cut to castle battlements. The piper plays and then jumps off We hear the scream as before. Another piper emerges and goes through the same routine.)
Voice Over: (Scottish accent) Here on top of Edinburgh Castle, in conditions of extreme secrecy, men are being trained for the British Army's first Kamikaze Regiment, the Queen's Own McKamikaze Highlanders. (there is a scream and a piper jumps off, another one emerges and starts to play) So successful has been the training of the Kamikaze Regiment that the numbers have dwindled from 30,000 to just over a dozen in three weeks. What makes these young Scotsmen so keen to kill themselves?
(Close ups of soldiers.)
Scots Soldier (Michael Palin): The money's good!
Second Soldier (Eric Idle): And the water skiing! (he falls down with a scream)
(Cut to interior of the guardroom in Edinburgh Castle. As before, but with only six men left plus the sergeant major. Bagpipes and a scream. The sergeant major dispatches another man. A captain enters. Bagpipes again.)
RSM: Ten-shun,
Captain (John Cleese): All right, sergeant major. At ease. Now, how many chaps have you got left?
RSM: Six, sir,
Captain: Six? (there is a scream)
RSM: Five, sir. (to another highlander carrying bagpipes) Good luck, Johnson. (Johnson leaves)
Captain: Jolly good show, sergeant major. (we hear bagpipes starting up outside) Well, I've come to tell you that we've got a job for your five lads.
(There is a scream.)
RSM: Four, sir.
Captain: For your four lads.
RSM: (whispering to another man) Good luck, Taggart.
Taggart: Thank you, sarge. (he goes)
Captain: (looking rather uncertainly at the man leaving) Now this mission's going to be dangerous, (bagpipes start) and it's going to be tough, and we're going to need every lad of yours to pull his weight. (the usual scream in the background) Now, which... er... which four are they?
RSM: These three here, sir. OK. Off you go, Smith.
Smith: (with manic eagerness) Right! (he charges out through door before captain can stop him)
Captain: (with mounting concern) ...er, sergeant major!
RSM: Yes, sir? (bagpipes start outside)
Captain: You don't think it might be a good idea to stop the training programme for a little bit?
RSM: They got to be trained, sir. It's a dangerous job.
Captain: Yes, I realize that, but... (the usual scream)
RSM: All right MacPherson, you're next, off you go.
Captain: You see what is worrying me, sergeant major, is...
MacPherson: I'll make it a gud'un, sir! (he dashes off)
RSM: Good luck, MacPherson.
Captain: Er... MacPherson... (the bagpipes start up) only this mission really is very dangerous. We're going to need both the chaps that you've got left (scream)
RSM: Both of who, sir?
Captain: Sergeant major, what's this man's name?
RSM: This one sir? This one is MacDonald, sir.
Captain: No, no, no, no. (the captain stops MacDonald who is straining quite hard to get away) Hang on to MacDonald, sergeant major, hang on to him.
RSM: I don't know whether I can, sir... (MacDonald's eyes are staring in a strange way) he's in a state of Itsubishi Kyoko McSayonara.
Captain: What's that?
(They am both struggling to restrain MacDonald.)
RSM: It's the fifth state that a Scotsman can achieve, sir. He's got to finish himself off by lunchtime or he thinks he's let down the Emperor, sir.
Captain: Well, can't we get him out of it?
RSM: Oh, I dunno how to, sir. Our Kamikaze instructor, Mr Yashimoto, was so good he never left Tokyo airport.
Captain: Well, there must be someone else who can advise us?
(Exterior of smart London health-salon-type frontage. A big sign reads 'Kamikaze Advice Centre'. A bowler-hatred man enters. A receptionist sits behind a posh desk.)
Man (Michael Palin): (very businesslike) Good morning, Kamikaze, please.
Receptionist: (indicating door) Yes, would you go through, please?
Man: Thank you.
(The man walks over to the door, opens it, walks through and disappears from sight. There is nothing but sky and clouds through the door. Scream. Cut back to castle guardroom)
I guess that didn't even occur to me!
Actually, I found it in .txt format (though messy), which I could clean up a bit, add the preface, and then put in the Hole. I'd probably convert it to .doc since I could make it look nicer that way.
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