Money absolutely does buy happiness. You are probably just spending it wrong. Give it to me and I'll show you how it's done.
I don't regret burning some of my bridges in life. I do regret that certain people weren't on those bridges.
Don't argue with people whose TVs are larger than their bookshelves.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere complement on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
I have learnt so much from my mistakes in life that I'm thinking of making a few more ... just to be sure.
In case you are ever wondering why there are Pop-Tarts and no Mom-Tarts, it's because of the pastriarchy.
Also, the phrase "Halt, who goes there?" has been around for sentries.
I got a new pet, a termite. I named him Clint Eatswood.
SpyNavy
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)