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Posted on 03/20/2026 8:17:24 AM PDT by GrandJediMasterYoda
Chuck Norris dead at 86 following medical emergency
Chuck Norris, the martial-artist-turned-actor who helped popularize karate and action films in the US and became a TV mainstay with “Walker, Texas Ranger,” has died. He was 86.
Born March 10, 1940, in Ryan, Okla., Norris first rose to prominence in the 1960s and 1970s as a champion martial artist who helped bring martial arts into the American mainstream.
At a time when Eastern fighting disciplines were still relatively unfamiliar to US audiences, Norris became one of their biggest champions by blending the principles of athleticism, discipline and showmanship.
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“Impossible”
Maybe he roundhouse kicked himself.
Sad to hear, condolences to his family and friends.
Heaven just gained a new citizen in Chuck Norris.
OTOH Death didnt go far, check the local hospitals intensive care units, and get death a private room. He dont need to be working while recovering..
Not impossible. He just brought Heaven to get him. He is not dead as he was beyond living when he got here.
Chuck Norris had a bear skin rug in his den. The bear wasn’t dead, he was just afraid to get up.
Rest in Peace Chuck.
My first karate instructor sparred with him back in the 70’s...rest in peace.
When Chuck Norris died he sent himself to Heaven. RIP Chuck!
One of business partners introduced Chuck Norris to me back in 1974. A true gentleman and laid back I was instantly impressed with him. We spent almost the entire afternoon talking about life, God,family and focus. Great memory of one of GOAT
I’m surprised this isn’t in Front Page News.
BTW, there’s a great article on Chuck Norris’ death at Breitbart, with nice things he’d said about Trump before 2016.
Now I’m convinced the end of the world is near.
If anybody was getting off this rock alive, I figured it’d be Chuck Norris.
Well, time to revisit those Chuck Norris jokes that celebrates this ultimate badass....
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris once made Baby Jesus cry.
Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris receives mail on Sundays.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris shaves with a chainsaw.
When Chuck Norris told the Microsoft Word paper clip to go away, it never came back.
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axles, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is “Charles”. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favouritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris—more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris—robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on
Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that actually is “his” way.
Hellen Keller’s favourite colour is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can “accidentally” beat the nuts out of little kids.
When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”
Chuck Norris doesn’t see dead people. He makes people dead.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that what Chuck giveth, Chuck taketh away.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
One day Chuck Norris looked in the mirror and said “No one outstares Chuck!” He is still there to this day.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience....
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell him.
Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Some people like to eat frogs’ legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked them.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it
Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald’s in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words
Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
When taking the SAT, write “Chuck Norris” for every answer. You will score over 8000
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you’re Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Chuck Norris”
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one
If you Google search “Chuck Norris getting his butt kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther’s womb.
Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won
“I was never really athletic until I was in the service in Korea.”
After he was honorably discharged in 1962, he worked as a file clerk for Northrop Aircraft and applied to be a police officer, but was put on a waitlist. Meanwhile, he opened a martial arts studio, which expanded to a chain, with students including such stars as Bob Barker, Priscilla Presley, Donnie and Marie Osmond, and Steve McQueen, whom he later credited with encouraging him to get into acting.
Norris made his film debut as an uncredited bodyguard in the 1968 movie “The Wrecking Crew,” which included a fight with Dean Martin. He had also crossed paths with Bruce Lee in martial arts circles. Their friendship – sometimes, as sparring partners – led to an iconic faceoff in the 1972 movie “Return of the Dragon,” in which Lee fights and kills Norris’ character in Rome’s Colosseum.
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