I could see someone at big pharma reading this and thinking *What a great idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
I know. All kidding aside, this marketing angle of pharmaceuticals just makes me want to facepalm.
I don’t even watch television, yet somehow, I keep seeing it every single time I pass a television anywhere that is on. My home. At work. An airport. A gym. It feels like every time my eyes pass over a television, it is some pharmaceutical ad on a pale blue background featuring a young black woman with a skin condition called CAPDS
(I asked Grok to make a pharm commercial script for some fictional skin condition, and what it gave back was kind of funny, because it frikking nailed it accurately!)
I have said that I can often accurately identify a Leftist article within the first sentence, if not the first few words. I used to have the same knack of being able to identify the great Jazz saxophonists after hearing only two notes of nearly any of their music.
I seem to have that same ability to identify pharmaceutical commercials. I can take an instant snapshot of a second or two of the video, and I can nail it! The inability to deviate from a woke scene template, the background colors, the races of the actors, the tone of the music...I can’t put my finger on it, but when I see it it instantly registers!
When I realized how much pharmaceutical advertising is on television, I admit it alarmed me a bit. It seemed completely unhealthy and ass-backwards.
NARRATOR: (soft, empathetic female voice): Do you suffer from Chronic Aesthetic Dysmorphia Syndrome? Also known as CADS? Symptoms may include:
NARRATOR: [Cut to woman crying in Sephora bathroom] You’re not alone. Over 97 million Americans suffer from CADS.
SCREEN: Ask your influencer if Dermaperfectia is right for you
NARRATOR: Introducing **Dermaperfectia™** — the first and only once-daily topical serum clinically proven to reduce the appearance of having skin by up to 600%* Just one pump of Dermaperfectia™ floods your face with patented **Unrealicillin-9™** and **GlassSkinomax™**, tricking everyone into thinking you woke up flawless instead of doom-scrolling until 3 a.m. eating gas-station sushi. [Happy people now bouncing through fields, skin literally glowing like they’re ring-light dependent]. Dermatologist-influencer approved! Side effects may include: (Spoken so fast and low that it is completely unintelligible)
Dermaperfectia™ — Because having actual skin is so 2019.
SCREEN:. [Fine print scrolls at light speed] *Results based on a double-blind study of 12 Instagram models who were already perfect. Your results may vary. Or not exist. Not intended to treat real dermatological conditions. If you experience actual joy, consult your therapist immediately.
Ask your dermatologist for Dermaperfectia™ today!
Or just buy it online for $289.99 (plus shipping) like everyone else.
#Dermaperfectia #SkinSoGoodItsSuspicious