"Call me!"
Posted on 11/06/2025 8:47:10 PM PST by SeekAndFind
For most of human history, coupling up was not merely a norm; it was a necessity. Before reliable contraception, women could not control their fertility, and most were far too poor to raise children alone. Hence the centuries-old convention that, whereas a tragic play or saga ends in death, a happy one ends in marriage.
So the speed with which the norm of marriage—indeed, of relationships of any sort—is being abandoned is startling. Throughout the rich world, singlehood is on the rise. Among Americans aged 25-34, the proportion living without a spouse or partner has doubled in five decades, to 50% for men and 41% for women. Since 2010, the share of people living alone has risen in 26 out of 30 rich countries. By The Economist’s calculation, the world has at least 100m more single people today than if coupling rates were still as high as in 2017. A great relationship recession is under way.
For some, this is evidence of social and moral decay. As we report, many in the “pro-natalist” movement believe that the failure of the young to settle down and procreate threatens to end Western civilisation. For others, it is evidence of admirable self-reliance. Vogue, a fashion magazine, recently suggested that for cool, ambitious young women, having a boyfriend is not merely unnecessary but “embarrassing”.
In fact, the rise of singlehood is neither straightforwardly good nor bad. Among heterosexuals (about whom there is the most research) it is largely a consequence of something clearly benign: as barriers to women in the workplace have fallen, their choices have expanded. They are far more able than in the past to live alone if they choose, and face less social stigma for doing so. The more they can support themselves financially, the less likely they are to put up with an inadequate or abusive partner. This shift has saved countless women from awful relationships, and forced many men to treat their mates better if they want to stay together.
However, it has also had unhappy knock-on effects. Flying solo can be liberating, but it can also be lonely. Plenty of singletons say they are content to remain so, especially women. But surveys in various countries suggest that 60-73% would rather be in a relationship. A poll in America in 2019 found that, although 50% of singles were not actively looking for a partner, only 27% said this was because they enjoyed being single. Many have given up, either because they despair of finding a mate, or because they don’t rate the mates on offer.
Some think social media and dating apps have fostered unrealistic expectations (other people’s relationships look fabulous on Instagram) and excessive pickiness (most women on Bumble reportedly insist that a male must be six feet tall, thus filtering out 85% of potential matches).
Another problem is the growing political gulf between young men and women, with the former leaning right and the latter leaning more to the left. Many singles insist that any partner must tick the same partisan boxes, which makes matching trickier.
Other experts point to a decline in social skills as people spend more of their lives gawping at screens. Americans of all ages socialise less in person than they did two decades ago, but the decline is especially steep among the young. Social media spread fears that women will be assaulted if they go out; and that men will be digitally shamed if a date goes badly.
Perhaps the most important factor is that, as living alone has become easier, women’s standards have grown more exacting. For many, a mediocre partner no longer seems a better bet than remaining single. Women are more likely than men to say that they want their mate to be well educated and financially solid. More men are failing to clear this moving bar, as they fall behind women educationally and the less bookish ones flounder in the job market. Men with no college degree and low earnings struggle to attract a partner; doubly so if they do not share domestic chores, or if after frequent rejection they start to dislike women, a common vice in the online “manosphere”.
Some of these problems may be self-correcting. One obvious idea is for men to grow up, do a little more housework, behave more responsibly and so turn themselves into more desirable partners. Cultural norms may impede this shift. But the prospect of avoiding lifelong loneliness and celibacy will surely serve as a powerful incentive for men to change. Many countries have been moving in this direction for years, with cleaning, cooking and child-minding more evenly split between men and women.
And yet, even in such enlightened spots as the Nordic countries, the trend towards singlehood shows no signs of abating. In Finland and Sweden roughly a third of adults live alone. At the very least, the shift is likely to exacerbate the already dramatic fall in global fertility, since single-parenting is hard and cultural taboos against it remain strong in many regions. Since young, single men commit more violent crimes, a less-coupled world could be more dangerous.
It is also possible that the relationship recession will not correct itself. A striking 7% of young singles say they would consider a robo-romance with an AI companion, and these lovebots will only get more sophisticated. AI, after all, is patient; AI is kind; it does not ask you to clean the bathroom or get a better job.
Many may worry that a world with fewer couples and children will be sadder and more atomised. Yet bemoaning the prospect will not avert it. And it is not the place of governments to overrule ordinary people’s preferences—though they should certainly try to tackle male underperformance in school. A future with far more singletons is coming. Everyone, from construction firms to the taxman, had better prepare. ■
Hehe by golly you’re correct LOL 🤣🤣🤣
Nope. At this late date, we found each other. First date was coffee. Second was an afternoon at the range.
"Call me!"
Ah! Happy forever. You lucked out, big time.
Or she will go on a violent crime spree.
We otherwise seem to agree on the broader issue, but here you appear to have "dropped the ball."
The uglification of women (most of it self-inflicted) does NOT mean that men now have to compete more for the remaining attractive women. That is not how male psychology and sexuality works.
Rather, the vast majority of men will happily accept women who fulfill at least partly their list of wants.
Men are willing to compromise (that is among our chief distinguishing features vis-à-vis our female counterparts). On the whole, men are more inclined to compromise on looks, weight, virginity, etc. than to shift into overdrive and make herculean efforts (push for career advancement; spend a significant portion of their spare time in the gym, trying to maximize their physique; gain pick-up skills; etc.) to outcompete their brethren in order to seize that last, good-looking woman. They will instead "settle."
(By that I don't mean that they will suddenly accept grossly obese, tattooed "baby-mamas" with a bad attitude. Rather, you might instead see a tall, handsome, and productive man settling for a slightly overweight or big-nosed girl with a lisp or already in her late 20s. On the other hand, aggressive, bitchy, embittered women with double-digit notch-counts are still to be regarded as "radioactive.")Regards,
Fair points on most men being willing to compromise—to some extent.
We probably could debate about where that line is drawn.
I am thinking about my two nephews—both married women that do not impress me and would not have been their choices in the 1960s.
One wife is attractive (7 ish) but not a very nice person.
The second is a bit on the heavy side (5 ish) with a great personality.
I worry that the first wife is “risky” and may go the divorce route once the kids are grown.
The second wife would never have interested me or any of my friends back in the “old days” but she will probably keep my nephew happy so all is good.
I got too focused on the lower part of it LOL 🤣🤣😆
The last few items mainly
Guess I was about half-asleep while “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” was on TV
I was thinking such a shame that Alison Doody turned out to be a Nazi....😃😜😝
Kind of a cute......😜
Ridiculous
Because usually they have charisma. And women tend to respond to that.
We just witnessed that in New York City.
Other than abstention, how did women control their fertility before the advent of contraception?
Yas indeed. Part of our vows was that we'd carry each other the rest of the way. Eight years now and we haven't killed each other yet.
Christians in America are producing tons more children than commies. That has the commies scared sh*tless.
In addition, 100,000 Muslims in America are leaving Islam annually. That apostasy has the goat herders scared sh*tless.
Not really. Around 1.9.
For secular Americans, it's at 1.4
“Not really. Around 1.9.”
Bzzzt! Wrong.
The average completed fertility rate for Christians is 2.2 children per respondent, according to a 2025 study by Pew Research Center.
Expand your horizon and read data that’s not cooked by the liars in the media.
BTW, American commies aren’t producing children. Welfare bums, yes, they make children. Commies, no.
One study. Among Church-going Christians (ages 40-59).
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