“I also once asked him why gay men seemed to get along so well with women, while so many lesbians seemed to hate men.”
Women do not feel threatened by gay men.
A company I worked for went out of their way to hire obvious lesbian women. This was before trans was a thing or they would have hired trans women instead. When I say obvious, I mean they had what automotive designers called “down the road graphics.” You can identify a BMW, for example, by the grill down the road. These women were painfully obvious. We concluded they’d done that because they were woke and a gay professional man dresses like any other man and you can’t tell without asking. The company needed to appear woke so everyone could tell without asking.
I had to interface with these lesbians. I could tell from their body language they were intimidated. They never faced me directly. They rarely looked me in the eye. My impression what they’d had bad experiences with men and were scared, which made them aggressive and nasty to deal with.
But the man-hating component is very strong in others, and especially the unattractive ones. I think they just hate men for having not been attractive to them.