Funny you say that-the kid I turned on reminded me a lot of the bully in "A Christmas Story" and...the way I flailed on that kid was very similar to the way the kid did it in the movie!
Being bullied is not great or enjoyable thing-but I learned some life lessons from it, and I feel that the experiences served a purpose. (being bullied by non-family lasted about four years from 7 years old to 11 or 12) I think I am a better person for it for the following reasons.
- First, I feel compelled to stand up for someone being bullied. One of my favorite lines of dialogue is from the movie "American Sniper" where one of the kids gets his butt kicked in a fight, and at the dinner table, the father says to his sons:
"...There are three types of people in this world. Sheep, wolves and Sheepdogs. Now, some people prefer to believe that evil doesn't exist in the world. And if it ever darkened their doorstep, they wouldn't know how to protect themselves. Those are the sheep. And then you got predators. They use violence to prey on the weak. They're the wolves. And then there are those who've been blessed with the gift of aggression...and the overpowering need. to protect the flock. These men are a rare breed...that live to confront the wolf. They are the sheepdog. Now, we're not raising any sheep in this family. I will whup your ass if you turn into a wolf..."
I strive to be a sheepdog. If the time comes, I pray I can do it. - Second, I never, ever felt the desire or need to bully someone else in any way. That is something being bullied did to me.
- Third, I learned at the most fundamental of levels that weakness invites aggression, and strength (or the projection of strength) deters it. If I am in an environment that feels unsafe, my back is straight, I walk erect with my shoulders back, and keep my head on a swivel.
- Fourth...I learned that bullies will often wilt when the tables are turned on them. They don't expect it, and are unprepared. It is one thing to have someone say "Fight back! Just fight back!" because as a kid, it isn't that easy. But it is the truth.
All very valuable lessons to me, in all walks of life, and I value them.
Thing is, my older brothers bullied me too, and when I stood up to them, it didn't go well because I got my ass kicked pretty roundly after I took a swing at one of my older brothers and he beat me badly enough to make me piss blood because he kicked me while I was down on the ground curled up in a fetal position. But that also had a good effect-after I fought back, he and my oldest brother never came at me again like that. And my brother who beat me up has been a life-long best friend to me since we grew up...:)
And like you-I retain so many fond memories. I have used the lemons of the bad memories and turned them into lemonade I can enjoy as I grow older. And I think that adversity made me a better person.
I hope!