DC man charged with felony assault after hitting federal agent with Subway sandwich

ny post ^ | Aug. 13, 2025, | Steven Nelson

[Songcraft]

:-)

(Maybe they should be banned for ordinary citizens.)

[ColoCdn]

Can’t we do something else?
Like someone who attacks you with a pointed stick?

[Bullish]

A DC judge will probably just laugh this case right out of court.

[Bullish]

That’s exactly what I was thinking.

[Bullish]

Sure are a lot of mentally deficient leftists on the streets.

Be careful out there, everybody!

Don't ever let any of them intimidate you, that's what they're trying to do, don't let them. Take quick decisive action. If they get in your face, smash that face. Do it quick and hard and make it count. Remember they expect you to cower but they're actually the real cowards. They'll tuck tail and run almost every time.

[WASCWatch]

The foot-long BMT with double meat is pretty hefty.

[BenLurkin]

[BFW]

Ping!

[pepsionice]

If this were Cap-police before the fed action....it’d go to a DC judge and amount to a $40 fine. In this case....fed-officer...probably goes to a fed-judge. Fine escalates but I doubt if he does jail time. Course, paying some lawyer $3,000 to represent you is pretty stupid.

[Peter ODonnell]

What kind of bread would you like with this assault?

[alexander_busek]

redshawk: That’s a weapon. Time to ban sub sandwiches.

bunkerhill7: Sub sandwiches should not have more than 10 rounds.

We need "sensible" sandwich control laws.

And "assault-style" subway sandwiches should be completely banned.

Regards,

[mabarker1]

Was it a High Capacity Submachinewich !?

[caddie]

lol I was thinin that

[caddie]

Yes where he’s going he’s going to be put on a strict, low-assault diet.

[KingLudd]

“Now comes the FO part of FAFO.”

Exactly.

I’ve been reading the /felony discussion forum on Reddit. The most common thread is felons struggling for meaningful employment post incarceration. It’s fascinating.

This guy’s life, for the rest of his life has just changed immeasurably for the worst. He’s going to lose pretty much everything - housing, job, savings, family members.

What a dumbass.

[DeplorablePaul]

In a previous post it was reported that the foot long Subway cost $30. Shocking if that’s true.

[Birdman]

Strong!

[The Antiyuppie]

Wow, hit him with a Subway sandwitch. Must be a 1%er.

[DeplorableTrumpSupporter]

Another use for a Subway sandwich...

Was it a hot Subway? Asking for a friend...

[cableguymn]

The problem with sending the homeless away is that it just moves the problem it doesn’t fix it like throwing the criminals in jail does.