After some devastating losses in my life, I became depressed, crippled with obsessive doom fears.
I tried prayer, counseling religious and psychological, prayer groups, support groups online and in person, exercise, diet, prayer, always prayer.
At last I tried anti-depressants. The first one had an instant bad effect on me. Intense fear for several hours, diarrhea like water. At least I knew it was the pill and I could wait it out.
The next one slowly slowly took effect. After a month or so, I was myself again. Not different, not leaving my family or empathy or beliefs, just able to live without obsessive fear and grief.
Not to minimize your narrative, but there is no way to know if it was the drug which got you back to normal again. Most depression is not permanent, and will subside over time. I know. I have been in some very dark moments of life, and came out of it without any meds, to my total surprise.
Just to say don't attribute any recover to the drugs you took without considering other factors.
My experience was similar to yours. I was close to suicidal and might not be here had I not benefited from an SSRI. I took the med in conjunction with Cognitive- behavioral therapy where I learned to identify and dispute unhealthy thinking.
The psychiatric profession and psychiatric drugs deserve some honest reappraisal but there is a contingent on FR that uses a broad brush with its criticisms.
That took guts on this thread