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"Flaming sack of dog poo on the front porch eh? Well, poo this!
🐷
Glad you’re okay. I pity the fool who wanders onto your property without permission!
Oh, the wandering folks don't bother anyone. Most of us will give 'em water/coffee, straighten out their navigation problems and explain why those cows don't REALLY like 'em very much. (Beginning with saying "Those cows are actually bulls"....)
The ones that have come with evil intent are few and far between and mostly don't make it far enough into our "neighborhood" to be anything but a topic of conversation at breakfast.
Only time we take a gun out the door is if we hear gunfire from a neighbor's outfit. Or spot a four-legged varmit on ours.