I think the problem starts with women being too eager to be married in the first place. They want the wedding, they want the security, it’s a milestone or a ritual, or an accomplishment. Only afterward do they start to see what it’s really like. Only then do they really start examining the character of the person they’ve married. Only then do they realize what a dreary undertaking this is if you don’t have a partner who is present and adult, and if your goals aren’t aligned and realistic. All this knowledge comes too late.
I think it works for both women and men. Some women want the wedding. They don’t want the marriage.
By the same token, some men are looking for a woman who will replace their mom, and they can have sex with.
Both of these attitudes are wrong, and will result in major problems down the road.
That’s my mom. Married at 16. Three kids by 24. Then she started going out and having fun at honky tonks.
Dad separated for 3 years.
Got back together for us kids. Stayed together until he died after 55 years of marriage.