Wife: And where have YOU been Mr Greek warrior?
Odysseus (in Sam Kinison voice): Not that you would care, but I was blown off course by heavy winds, and I was attacked by monsters!! Oh oh ooooohhhhh!!!
LOL!
“‘Attacked? By monsters? For ten years?’ That’s what my wife said. With those glowing red coals for eyes of has. THIS is what I was told’ those monsters: Do your worst, man. It’s nothin’ compared to what I have comin’ to me from my WIFE when I get HOME! Every minute I spend away only makes it worse. Kill me. Whatever. Do what you want. But you wanna see me SUFFER?!? THEN SEND ME HOME TO MY WIFE!!! OH! OHHHHH…!!!”