Posted on 04/10/2025 5:42:21 AM PDT by V_TWIN
NEW YORK, NY — Local stockbroker and lifelong Democrat Dean Watter fell into utter despair today, tears falling from his eyes as he watched the stock market recover.
Friends and relatives expressed deep concern about Watter's anguish. "He had been so happy the last couple of days as the stock market was crashing," his coworker Steve Carson noted. "He was truly on cloud nine. He kept saying that Trump tanking the economy was probably the single greatest thing that ever happened to him."
However, as the stock market rallied historically on Wednesday, Watter's mood turned sour. "It was like someone flipped a light switch," Carson noted. "He kept looking at the stock market ticker going up and up, and he just kept sobbing harder and harder. There was no consoling him."
Watter reportedly went up to the roof to get some air but ended up hurling himself off the building shortly thereafter. Sources say Watter yelled "TRUMP WAS RIGHT! I'VE LOST EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIING," as he plummeted towards Wall Street.
In a stroke of good fortune, Watter landed softly on a shipment of MyPillows bound for Trump Tower. Upon realizing he owed his life to Trump supporter Mike Lindell, Watter apparently became even more distraught and had to be sedated at the scene.
I bet a lot of them shorted the market with glee, then the instant rebound ruined their plans.
And he sold at the bottom thinking he could accelerate the drop. Sad. He can buy back in now 3,000 points higher.
This doesn’t need to be a Babylon Bee headline because it is not a satirical statement.
Recovered? Down down 957 at mid morning.
It’s satire dude
China sold a lot of their U.S. treasuries when treasury prices were down (and rates were up). As soon as they dropped the treasuries, treasury prices shot back up too. LOL
“In a stroke of good fortune, Watter landed softly on a shipment of MyPillows bound for Trump Tower. Upon realizing he owed his life to Trump supporter Mike Lindell, Watter apparently became even more distraught and had to be sedated at the scene.”
LOL
Part of the plan is to crash the market, force the Fed to lower interest rates, and then get the ones who fled the market to buy bonds. This will allow the US gov’mt to refinance the $2.5T debt this summer. It MUST be refinanced or the US is dead next year.
There are several goals to the tariffs. Don’t be a commie trash turd and think that there is only one in play — that is the surface level thinking of someone who watches CNN.
Yes, the Bee is now more reliable than the MSM.
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