Trump Assures PM Starmer England Still His Favorite Muslim Country

The Bee ^ | February 28, 2025 | Staff

[Navy Patriot]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump extended an olive branch to the United Kingdom on Thursday, telling Prime Minister Keir Starmer that England was still his favorite out of all the Muslim countries.

According to sources, Starmer had been apprehensive ahead of his meeting with Trump due to their agendas appearing to be at odds with each other, but that all changed when Trump told him that, of all the Muslim countries in the world, England was the best.

"I love all people, even Muslims. Especially the British Muslims," Trump told Starmer. "Of all the Muslims in the world, no one is more civilized than the English. I mean, you're still melting faces off of women and stabbing each other, but you've got Big Ben. Who doesn't love Big Ben? I wish we could have Big Ben here, to tell you the truth. It's an amazing clock. Maybe the best clock. We should build a giant clock here in America. A 'Bigger Ben,' maybe."

Insiders present at the meeting said Starmer was overcome with Trump's kind words and remained quiet until the joint press conference later in the day.

As part of the meeting, the two world leaders answered questions about Ukraine, trade relations, censorship, and more, but every time the question turned to the Middle East, Trump graciously deferred to Starmer, who he called his "favorite Muslim" and the "leader of the Muslim world."

At publishing time, Trump had reportedly given Starmer a red MAGA-themed Muslim prayer rug.

[Navy Patriot]

President Trump understands UK Muzzophiles quite well!

[asinclair]

Really? You want a big clock? How about this idea: build an appropriate-sized square tower. At the top of the tower, on all four sides, mount JumboTrons. In a small computer, add the appropriate clock app. Use a video distribution amp to feed the video to all four JumboTrons. You now have a clock that can be read for miles.

Want it to chime? Easy enough to add outdoor speakers, a suitable 70 volt audio amp, and a chime generator. If you're smart and use Linux, you can use cron(1), play(1), and audio files to make the appropriate noises at the appropriate times.

Wishes can come true.