No no no.
We were told monkey soup from the Chinese back country.
We were not supposed to question that.
It was SCIENCE goddammit! Now you’re off Fakebook. No more Tweeter for YOU.
Good news! We’ve rolled back the ban on gain of function research.
Really?
So now it’s legal for us to modify viruses and make a more deadly and transmissible to humans.
Why would you want to do that?
Well it’s important that we be prepared in case something like that happened in the future in case somebody modifies a deadly virus to be more infectious and able to transmit to humans. Can you imagine?
Yeah sounds dangerous.
No, no it’s fine. We’re doing it at a level four weapons research lab in Wuhan China. Very secure.
Okay good.
Terrible news oh no there’s been an outbreak of a mysterious new respiratory virus in Wuhan China.
Wuhan China like where the research lab is?
Yeah yeah exactly like right where the lab is.
So do you think it could have come from the lab?
No absolutely not. I see how you could make that mistake but no no the virus the deadly virus that’s make it able to infect humans that came from the farmer’s market down the road from the dangerous bioweapons lab.
And you expect us to believe that?
I’ll ban you from the internet if you don’t.
COVID Pitch Meeting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEwpWpuIk_E