Now that our kids are grown my ex is no longer at war. When I ran into her a few years ago, one thing she said that made her open up to kindness again was that my son knew nice things about her and her family that I had taught him. There were a couple of bad traits she felt she had to explain to our son, but it turns out that our son didn't know about those things about her because I never told him. She had projected onto me that I would spend my time with him, obsessed with her like she was about me. Eventually she realized that my ways of sticking to Jesus and His ways, including loving people, was the best way.
But to get to that point I had to first win the war. The years long custody battle was kind of like Israel's situation of having to put up with a persistent enemy ... until now that Israel is fighting to win (perhaps until the Gazans/Hamas/Palestinians or whatever they call themselves surrender). As long as my ex had custody and was 200 miles away teaching him her constant trash, there was no hope. But once God gave me both custody and the character to not be like her (in front of my son, in court I was brutal), my son had a chance.
“Eventually she realized that my ways of sticking to Jesus and His ways, including loving people, was the best way.”
Great words of wisdom.