My wife wanted an epidural with our first but the anesthesiologist didn't get to her on time to administer it so she went without.
After that, she had the next three freely without painkillers. By the time our fourth was born, my wife made having kids look easy.
She just popped 'em right out.
I apologize in advance, but your description brought to mind the image of a T-shirt/sock cannon ... "Fire at will ..."