As the old Italians say, “When the donkey brays, don’t answer it.”
The Grey Rock Method is where you deliberately act unresponsive or unengaged so that an abusive person will lose interest in you. Abusive people thrive on emotions and drama. When you act indifferent and don’t show your emotions, they may lose interest and stop bothering you. This is known as “grey rocking.” Using the grey rock method might look like avoiding eye contact, giving short answers, and focusing on other things when talking with someone who’s using abuse tactics.
The grey rock method is a strategy for protecting yourself from abusive or toxic friends, partners, co-workers, or family members.
This method theorizes that, when dealing with an emotionally abusive, toxic, or narcissistic person, withholding your reactions can put a stop to their behaviors. If you show no emotion they won’t get the thrill or enjoyment out of their harmful behavior.
It’s important to note that the person may get very upset when you withhold your reactions. However, right after the anger or escalation, you may get the behavior you want if you continue to “grey rock” the person.