Actually you sound like the hysterical left, one can promote the use of toilet sprays or bidets without seeming like a nutty leftist talking about the earth dying in 10 years.
"your new discovery of the health hazards of toilet paper"(actually more than 30 years ago)
"SUDDENLY the previous million years of a normal routine is now deadly"
(Yeah, like cholera, typhoid fever, polio, shigellosis, amebiasis, hookworm, tapeworm, hepatitis, etc.)
BTW, I hope this "SUDDEN" (to you) revelation, that a man's genitals, dangling in a toilet during defecation, splashed with contaminated water during flushing, and remaining unwashed, threaten diseases to others, will make you more responsible and less hysterical.
I also hope hand washing is not too new a discovery for you.