Replies

LIBERALISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both cows, slaughters them for their own food,
and taxes you to death for worthless social programs, for having
the animals originally.

PROGRESSIVISM
You have 2 cows.
Progs advocate for advancements in science, technology,
economic development and social organization, but they’re so full
of bullshit, nothing ever changes.
You still have 2 cows.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
The State forces you to give one to your neighbor, shoots the neighbor
and forces you to milk them both, giving all milk back to the state.
The State gives you a cup of sour milk.

LEFTISM
You have 2 cows.
The State terrrorizes the animals until they can’t produce milk,
beats you and your wife to death, and puts your daughters & sons
into the Pedophile Nation, for the Epsteins, Weiners, Clintons etc.

MARXISM
You have 2 cows.
The government takes both and tosses you into a hog pen, where you’re
devoured and never found.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you nothing.
They shoot your family and put you in a gulag.

DEMOCRATIC SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, promises more free cows, lets you vote and gives you sour milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots your wife and kids.

ANARCHISM
You have 2 cows.
The State shoots the cows, you and your family.

CRONY CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, milks, slaughters them, and makes a tidy profit from the sale
of choice meat cuts and fresh milk.
You get some lousy hamburger and a jar of sour milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, hires a sub-contractor to milk the other, and then throws the milk away.

CONTEMPORARY WALL STREETISM
You have 2 cows.
You sell one, bundle the other with a goat, a mule,
and two dry cows.
You pile into the derivatives market, buy a Gulfstream
and when it all comes down around your ears...
You go to the government for a bailout.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

(My ‘modifications’ are included.)