You are not ‘Godless’. I do not attend church either. I grew up going to Sunday school & church every Sunday. I warmed a pew like many others do; however, I did not have a personal relationship with God. Through a series of events in my life, I came to have that personal relationship. As for church, I don’t get much out of it - the preachers rarely preach what they should & tend to ‘soften’ the Word of God’ so they don’t offend anyone. My brother & SIL left the church we attended all our lives 2-3 years ago as well. We also had issues with her father & mine, elderly & dying, receiving no pastoral care - COVID was the big excuse, but they didn’t even get a phone call ... I don’t think COVID transmitted over the phone. My niece’s pastor was the opposite - if people wanted visits, wanted Communion, he was there & he was in the phone checking on his ‘flock’ constantly. I could go on, but I know you get the point.
On the phone, not ‘in’ it. The pastor who did no visiting, abandoned our fathers did not do the funeral services for either - we made other arrangements.