I am a Trustee and the sibling heirs have abused me through the entire process. There is another side and adhering to fiduciary responsibilities is what is required. Court ordered trust with pour over will because my Dad died intestate leaving our step-mom who had dementia behind. Technically they and I were not heirs on her passing…her Mother was! I became my stepmom’s conservator and her Mother wrote an affidavit to the court that my Dad’s kids should inherit after my Stepmom’s passing. She knew I would lovingly care for her…and I did that for 8 years.
Since this Trust is under court supervision it has been very difficult trying to wrap it up…between Covid delays to finalize the conservatorship so assets can be distributed, real estate prep for sale and IRS making claims to lien for taxes that they were paid but have not applied to the tax year…. I am hopeful this will be resolved so I can close this out this month.
This entire process from the conservatorship through the Trust has taken a severe toll on my life… Other than my compassion to be sure my stepmom was properly cared for… I would not advise anyone to accept this level of responsibility.
My father died in 1993 after which my mother started drinking heavily. My brother lived 5 minutes away while I was 2 hrs away. My mother was hospitalized in June 1995 and was on a ventilator by the time I got there so we couldn’t have a discussion about anything. She died July 17, 1995, and at the Rosary service my brother handed me a copy of the irrevocable trust. My brother said there was no will, he “looked everywhere for it,” which is why he had her make a trust. A yr later he admitted to the existence of a will which is when I learned of the terms via his attorney.
He also obtained guardianship of my younger brother who is mentally retarded and received approximately $1400/mo from the federal and state govt. I sent a letter to the judge outlining my issues with the guardianship so they kept him on a tight leash for a few yrs after that as far as reporting and home visits. I was only allowed to talk to my little brother on the phone if they listened in so eventually I stopped calling. I didn’t have the money to fight the guardianship or contest the trust, so my brother won at every turn.
The terms of the trust were weighed heavily in my older brother’s favor. Even though it was a small estate, the money would have come in really handy for our struggling family at the time. I received less than $20,000 vs the $100,000 I would have received under the terms of the will.