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To: DallasBiff
I have developed a theory about this. When God created the Earth, he had only six days to make everything that went into it. That is a lot of work. So, I suspected that he farmed out some of that work to Angels, who were capable, and tasked this one with creating the elephant, that one with creating the Aardvark, and so on. Squirrels came far down the list, and I have often wondered if he had a resource issue, and tasked an Angel named William with creating Squirrels.

The Angel William was a good angel, but...not talented in any way, and had no experience in wildlife creation workflows except for designing rats and cockroaches, but...when you need a body, you need a body. The Angel William might get it right this time. So God contracted Angel William to design and implement The Squirrel. And by and large, Angel William did a pretty good job of it.

Squirrels were fast. They had enough intelligence to improvise. They were athletic and durable. The reproduced prodigiously. But the six-day deadline was fast approaching, and when The Angel William wrote the algorithm to avoid cars, well, he was more interested in getting the code installed to meet the deadline than he was in doing it right. Besides, he knew the schedule for the appearance of cars was long off in the future, so squirrels could learn what they needed to know in that time frame.

As we know, it didn't work out that way, and when squirrels began dying in great numbers on roadways, it came to the attention of God. He focused on this deficiency, and time and time again, he would see squirrels blindly rush out into oncoming traffic, only to have them appear at his feet a second or two later. This was not good. Then, as he watched, he saw another squirrel dash right between the wheels of a car and improbably appear safely on the other side, and as God's eyebrows rose in astonishment, the squirrel reversed course and ran right back under the wheels of the trailing car, and suddenly appeared at his feet, where it scurried away to the nearest heavenly tree.

God didn't explode in anger, as that was not his style, but he did ask calmly "Okay. Who designed The Squirrel?"

An Angel with a clipboard says "It was Angel William, my Lord."

I have often wondered if, when observing this earth in action, that God delivered unto himself a facepalm. If he ever did, it must have been then.

6 posted on 06/04/2024 5:37:27 PM PDT by rlmorel (In Today's Democrat America, The $5 Dollar Bill is the New $1 Dollar Bill.)
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To: rlmorel

Creative...and now concerning ha ha


31 posted on 06/04/2024 6:02:15 PM PDT by Karliner (Heb 4:12 Rom 8:28 Rev 3, "...This is the end of the beginning." Churchill)
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