I think you don’t understand the power of mind control. This explains why you participate in it.
We can assume you do so more as a victim of it rather than a perpetrator. But maybe not.
I think you don’t know what you’re gibbering about and that explains why you can’t face reality.
We can assume that your problems are entirely self-inflicted and that you have only yourself to blame.
The other possibility is that you’re illiterate and unable to read written English ... not uncommon among government school “graduates”.