Florida’s gators help to scare away Leftists.
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the conservative state of Florida for some sightseeing. He was cruising along Alligator Alley in the PopeMobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the vegetation.
A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a ‘Save the Manatees’ hat and a ‘F*ck Trump’ T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 14-foot alligator.
As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican boaters came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the alligator’s head. The other two pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the jaws of the huge gator. Then using their AR-15s, the three boaters finished off the gator and two of them threw it onto the back of their boat while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the boat’s back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. ‘I give you my blessing for your brave actions!’ he told them. ‘I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican Boaters and Democratic Leftist activists but now I’ve seen with my own eyes that this is not true.’
As the Pope drove off, one boater asked his buddies ‘Who was that guy?’
‘It was the Pope,’ another replied. ‘He’s in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.
‘Well,’ the logger said, ‘he may have access to all wisdom but he doesn’t know squat about gator hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to go back to Fort Lauderdale and get another one?’