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Missionaries Travel From Africa To Bring The Gospel To United Methodist Church
Babylon Bee ^ | May 2, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 05/03/2024 8:00:19 AM PDT by Twotone

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To: Twotone

This isn’t really satire at this point. It needs to happen, and is starting to happen already. (I’m on the board of an international Christian outreach based in the US; our converts and native leaders in West Africa are pushing forward plans to set up their own outreach stations and share the Gospel in dark, godless places like England and other European countries.)


21 posted on 05/03/2024 9:37:37 AM PDT by EnderWiggin1970
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To: Twotone

If I understand things, this is not necessarily satire.


22 posted on 05/03/2024 9:53:24 AM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus…)
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To: Twotone

Doesn’t belong in the Bee — reverse missions are actually happening.


23 posted on 05/03/2024 10:25:10 AM PDT by Socon-Econ (adi)
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To: Twotone

I commented to my wife the other day that our church should be sending missionaries to East Boise and the North End of Boise, as they are “progressive” strongholds in the area. (I use the term strongholds as it also relates to what is happening in the spiritual realm in those areas.)

Don’t need to travel to Africa or South America! Plenty of work right here.


24 posted on 05/03/2024 1:35:24 PM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: Disambiguator

Don’t need to travel to Africa or South America! Plenty of work right here.

********

An who brought those here to the USA
after Columbus sailed in 1492.


25 posted on 05/03/2024 1:42:29 PM PDT by deport
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To: Sir Bangaz Cracka
The ROAD keeps turning, left & right along with circling at times.
Live your three score and ten as best you can obeying your teachings.
Your after life will be a part of your present life's choosing. So Be It.
26 posted on 05/03/2024 2:06:11 PM PDT by deport
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To: Socon-Econ

The Bee is morphing from a satire site to a real news site.


27 posted on 05/03/2024 2:09:27 PM PDT by Texas resident (Biden=Obama=Jarrett=Soros)
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To: Nervous Tick

The Methodist Church in my town holds two separate services on Sunday mornings. One is a traditional service and the other is a liberal service.

That’s one way of doing it, I guess.


28 posted on 05/03/2024 2:52:02 PM PDT by CrimsonTidegirl (Do your American duty: Burn a Ukrainian flag today!)
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To: Monterrosa-24
"Of the thousands of congregations that have left, many were the most dynamic that the UMC had."

Concur. Of the three Methodist churches in my home town, the liberal one is dying. The second one is hanging on and the third one has joined the new Global methodist church and is growing very well. Interestingly enough, the one that joined the Global Methodist church was the largest and most established. Now a lot of their new growth are people like me that just joined because my church voted to stay. In a good manner, were are called the refugees and refer to ourselves the same.

Here is another point, the traditionalist that left the UMC for the most part are the ones that tithe (give 10% of income). So the churches we left have seen a great decrease in revenue and my new church is actually having a hard time ensuring that the new found funds are used appropriately. OBTW, the Global Methodist Church has organized so that that they hopefully will not fall into the old organization. The Global Methodist Church has put in its charter that it will not require funds from the individual church of more than 1% of church offerings. This was a big friction point while I was a UMC member, because the UMC required about 10% of offerings and funded "BS" and liberal causes. I have glossed over some details, because who wants to wander through that?

29 posted on 05/03/2024 6:51:21 PM PDT by fini
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