When my mom died of cancer 16 years ago
We had 2-3 helpers in the home the last year
It took forever to get my stubborn mom to go along
But it was a very very long ranch house with master at one end and kitchen and breakfast room at the other literally 40 yards away and she’d make the trek defiantly all 85 pounds of her (former miss Mississippi 1952)
Big house
Her friends laid down the law to me
Make her take help
It was not cheap 24/7
One was a country woman who was nice but tried to glom hospice meds at the conclusion (I thwarted her but kept all meds I paid for)
Another was a college gal who was sweet but a bit overwhelmed
My oldest girl helped too
But our best was an older black woman accustomed to dealing with an old white woman from Mississippi lol
And we’d laugh about it
“Lily id like my crust trimmed off my sandwich please”
Mom and her little bell
Anyhow I am not one to defend blacks knee jerk and qualify everything
But lily was damn good help
And she got a great bonus at the end
You do that with caregivers in the white South
Before scolds get started
I lived 45 miles away and had boys 1 and 6 and 8 at home with my rib and two teen girls
And worked seven days a week like now lol
But I traveled down to Murfreesboro every single day from 5/6 to 11/12 at night then drove back to green hills in music city
To visit and just take care of stuff or watch her shows with her
She’d let me even have a cigar in the house and the Doberman could even sleep by the bed
The worm had turned lol
Dealing with dying parents which we’ve done three times plus an elderly aunt too is an honor and duty and love
I am glad I experienced it even as shotcaller which can be trying
But I’d pick a genial old black woman in Dixie anyday
Especially since most also cook very well
Just my two cents
My mom had dementia. We took care of her as long as we could. Then a home for 5 months. Horrible. She wanted to die and it it broke all our hearts to see her basically wilt away to nothing.
We need a way to ethically terminate a life in a well planned and organized way.
So folks don’t have to be taken care of by folks who make $12/hour and simply don’t give a shit. It is so expensive and even decent places have questionable care.
“But I’d pick a genial old black woman in Dixie anyday”
You’re describing a dying breed. Older black women have genuune faith in the creator and they have soul. They probably had husbands too.
Very different type of human being then the letitia james or joy reid types.
That’s a great story. And I know exactly what you mean by “ a genial old black woman in Dixie” from the times that I visited my dad’s Mississippi home town.