To: null and void; Lazamataz
**"When they arrived, he saw several armed soldiers guarding the entrance to elevator to the scaffolding. After checking his credentials, he entered the elevator." consider
he was allowed to enter the elevator. That subtly emphasizes that he could be barred (or shot) should he fail inspection and try to enter anyway.**
____________________________________________________________________ I would say “After presenting his credentials, he was allowed to enter the elevator…”
96 posted on
03/08/2024 7:40:17 AM PST by
Allegra
(Less propaganda would be appreciated. )
To: Allegra
That works too! You doubtless have more real world experience than I do.
97 posted on
03/08/2024 7:47:37 AM PST by
null and void
(There’s only one thing that’s for sure. Everyone on all sides a conflict will be happy to lie to you)
To: Allegra; piytar
These corrections are being made. Appreciate your participation! Keep it up!
I will post all my corrections later in this thread. Give me a few days. 😍
(One big hole I plugged was, what was the world’s reaction to the appearance of these strange objects? I explore that briefly, but only to set tone. I don’t want to make the book about that chaotic period.)
98 posted on
03/08/2024 8:20:05 AM PST by
Lazamataz
(Laz 2005: "First, we beat the Soviet Union. Then we became them.")
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