She’s over 70. Doesn’t want my help. Well, sometimes. She wants me to agree with her. I tell her she needs therapy. Her marriage is a wreck. Yes, it’s a runaway train. She hurts a lot of people, including herself, her kids, her husband, me, my husband, and my kids. I don’t stop trying, but it’s so freaking hard sometimes. She ruins family times together, including vacations. Vacations are for getting away from life’s problems, not for making them front and center, and harder to deal with, but that’s what we’ve gotten with her the last few years. I just never know which person is going to show up.
Seventy and never dx’ed or just getting worse? Sometimes with age, me included there’s stressors in age that can mimic serious mood swings but it’s the stress of age, diminished capacity, compensation, so much. I hope it’s not bipolar but she does sound like life is hard to cope and needs more help that you( or anyone) can give?
She's entitled to make her own decisions. So that's that.