[Melian]

The second paddleboarder has been identified as a female Obama staffer who was allegedly paddleboarding with Tafari. He fell in with zero injuries whatsoever and started to drown. She attempted to save him in vain, rushed to the shore, and a secret service agent phoned emergency services from Obama's compound. Obama then went golfing in public and had a gay old time.

[Melian]

h/t nclaurel

[outinyellowdogcountry]

Did he have a head injury or not? The story gets more and more strange. Maybe she helped him by banging his head with her paddle.