https://www.uncoverdc.com/2023/07/31/the-news-of-today-is-the-history-of-tomorrow-july-31-2023/
Larry Schweikart’s funny summaries, links at Uncoverdc have more info.
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) Boast ‘n’ Bragg now is looking to back out of his indictment against Trump, using the feds’ cases as cover.
2) President Trump was hit by the demonic prosecutor Jack Smith with a superseding indictment. Here is what is happening:
-Smith isn’t finding “new” charges. He’s had these all along, plus dozens more. He is using them as media/press “circuit breakers.” Every time there is a negative story about Hunter Biteme or Rutabaga’s bribery, he rolls one or two out.
3) The fine upstanding Department of INJustice has tried to threaten, perhaps even jail, a key Hunter Biteme witness before he can testify. He will testify.
4) An illegal ChiCom bio lab has been discovered in central Kollyfornia.
5) Natural gas, coal, and nukes saved the largest U.S. grid as there was an emergency alert declared for the second day.
6) Tennessee’s failing Jackson-Madison County School District has denied a charter school application . . . again.
7) American energy independence will require cobalt. Except America’s only mine can’t get off the ground. The U.S. is playing catch up to the ChiComs.
8) Vivek Ramaswamy, who briefly was riding a wave of being seen as Trump’s Mini-Me, has hit hard times with numerous stupid comments. His latest? He aligned with Yertle, Ru Paul, and DeSantis in promoting the U.S. to reenter the TPP, which Trump heroically killed. I think ol’ Vivek’s time in the sun is about over.
9) Costilla County, CO, property owners worry about a massive property tax jump that could leave them homeless. Property values in Jefferson County have gone up 277%, in Arapahoe 241%, and in Denver 89%.
10) In New Kabul (NYC), asylum seekers camped outside the Roosevelt Hotel for a second night after being told the Manhattan relief center is at capacity.
-I think a law requiring anyone who has an apartment or condo worth more than $5,000 a month in payments should take in at least five illegal criminals.
11) Meanwhile, New Kabul collapses around its denizens’ ears. A bill to repair the New York City Housing Authority (i.e., da po housing) has doubled, but even at that, the fine leaders of that rattrap hellhole won’t fix the system.
12) And more on New Kabul: while Eric the Red Adams has fined private businesses $10,000 a month for scaffolding that stays up for over 90 days without repairs, public buildings have permanent scaffolding.
13) Meanwhile, Groomer City (SF) is called by one long-time resident “a zombie apocalypse.” It was apparent his love for the city affected his judgment. An apocalypse would be a step up.
14) Analysts now think up to 60% of Americans own guns.
-What’s wrong with that other 40%?
15) For those of you not looking forward to a colonoscopy, new research has found a safer, less intrusive way to detect colon polyps.
-Roto-Rooter is deeply disappointed.
IN CULTURE NEWS
16) Not one 8th-grade student from LeBron James’ I Promise School has passed a math test since 2020.
-Wanna bet they know all about victimization?
17) Now, they are putting woke and critical theory in high school debate.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
18) Trucker Yellow, a company that received a $700 million government bailout for the China Virus, has filed for bankruptcy.
19) Ford lost $72,000 for every electric vehicle it sold in 2023.
20) Surprise: Bidenomics has benefitted the top 1% more than any other group.
21) Woke capitalism gets a black eye.
22) Office valuations have plummeted, and gross domestic income fell in the first quarter.
23) Food service Giant has been sued for refusing to discriminate against white employees.
24) The Fed’s favored “core” price index rose 4.1%, the least since September 2021, but monthly services inflation has accelerated.
25) New York, Kollyfornia tax revenues have tumbled amidst the exodus to blue states, while Florida and Texas show incredible tax revenue gains.
26) Electric cars are piling up at dealerships, despite big subsidies.
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
27) At least 40 are dead and 130 injured in a bombing at a Pakistani political rally.
28) African leaders left the Russia summit without a grain deal.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
29) John Nolte, one of the better culture analysts, provides six reasons Hollywood is in real trouble this time. Numbers 1-3 involve the collapse of pay-TV.
-Then there’s woke. That will affect even the streamers, though.
30) “Barbenheimer” is dominating the box office with $775 and $400 million, respectively. Neither is yet at the Return on Investment of “Sound of Freedom,” but “Barbie” should get there in a week or two. “Sound of Freedom” is almost at $150 million and not slowing down with another $4 million weekend take.
31) For numbers on “Sound of Freedom,” go here.
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
32) A new analysis of an influential mask study shows universal masking did zip, zero, nada.
33) mRNA China Virus vaxxes may be triggering “turbo cancers” in youts.
34) Only one USC basketball player in 100 years has had a cardiac arrest.
-Guess ol Brony James’ number just happened to be up? Or, you know, could be the vax his dodo father demanded he take.
AND FINALLY…
35) A facial analyst claimed humans are becoming less attractive with every new generation, thanks to modern diets and bad sleeping patterns.
-And tattoos. And piercings. And fat. Don’t forget the fat.