Well, my only concern here is to keep people like you from killing themselves in the event their belief system takes a major hit. Just stay flexible, and prepare to salvage what is left of your Faith. There is nothing more I need to do here.
My belief system is fine, thank you. Yours, though, appears to not be grounded in Jesus. That will prove to be difficult for you in the long run. Trust in the LORD. God, through Christ, is your only source of hope and salvation.