I have found his DDR and discharge papers, our wedding license and his SS number.
So far I’ve not been able to get anyone at social services or SS to answer the phone.
Tried to get a duplicate driver’s license online because mine melted in the fire but the fact that he’s on vehicle titles shot that down.
No idea how to get him off of them.
Didn’t have money to bury him so the er people suggested science donation and did but then they called and said the living can’t donate the dead, the dead one had to have made arrangements themselves.
They told me to contact Rocky Gap veterans cemetery and I did.
Sent them photo of his discharge papers.
He’s in Baltimore at the Body Board place and I have to call them back Monday to see if he can be a special exception, or if they’ll cremate him or what.
Otherwise I have to pay for that and drive a long way to pick him up in a car that was t boned and leaks vital fluids now.
I can’t go to an ER because I have NO health insurance now.
He cancelled the payments from his state check that provided protection of any benefits for me after his death back in 2009 or so and didn’t tell me.
I can’t get medical care until I somehow get Medicaid or whatever.
No idea how long that’ll take and cannot be racking up any bills as I’m having to pay bills he owes now.
My dad bought this house for me in 1989 so I would never be homeless and kept it in his name but after he passed, hubby connived my mom and me into putting him on the deed too, so my dads plan to protect me was foiled.
He never got around to making a will, despite my mom constantly offering to pay a lawyer to have it done.
This is why I’m in panic mode.
Everything that was mine became his as well, by default of the deed and I might lose the house twice, first to the fire, then to probate.
I’m having a very hard time reckoning with the fact that the person I sheltered and took care of for 30 years and countless health issues, did not return the favor by making any plans for me if he died.
I am overwhelmed by all of it and am having a hard time keeping everything straight as so much info is overloading me.
Plus, I hurt badly that I was ultimately cared for so little.
Half my life was thrown away for this nightmare.
I don’t know how how process the grief of his death alongside the discovery that he intentionally stopped all the benefits I could have continued to receive.
I’m hoping my own heart issues right now are just anxiety.
All right Dear I got Your Post and will be dealing with each item, line by line and get back to You but it’s going to probably be tonight before I get it done so hang in there for Me.
Try to relax if You can. Try getting that CALM APP it’s free to start with. Listen to some of the sounds it has and see if that helps.
< terminator voice > I’ll be back. < /terminator voice >
That's good ! Now You need to get at least 7 copies of each because they will be needed.
So far I’ve not been able to get anyone at social services or SS to answer the phone.
That's not uncommon at the beginning and end of the month. Social Services should be County/State stuff. Social Security is Federal crap and I have been on "Hold" (or what I call "Ignore") with them before. SS should pay a Spousal Death amount, IIRC it's $255.00
<> Tried to get a duplicate driver’s license online because mine melted in the fire but the fact that he’s on vehicle titles shot that down. No idea how to get him off of them.
His name on vehicle titles should have absolutely NO effect on You getting a Replacement/Duplicate Drivers License whatsoever !!! You will need a Death Certificate to get any Vehicle Title changes completed.
Didn’t have money to bury him so the er people suggested science donation and did but then they called and said the living can’t donate the dead, the dead one had to have made arrangements themselves. They told me to contact Rocky Gap veterans cemetery and I did. Sent them photo of his discharge papers. He’s in Baltimore at the Body Board place and I have to call them back Monday to see if he can be a special exception, or if they’ll cremate him or what.
You do know that the VA will help with the disposition of the body and should offer burial services, Honor Guard, IIRC some sort of $$$. I'm going to contact another FReeper about details and get back to You.
Otherwise I have to pay for that and drive a long way to pick him up in a car that was t boned and leaks vital fluids now.
What fluids are leaking ?
I can’t go to an ER because I have NO health insurance now.
Yes You can !!! See below.
He cancelled the payments from his state check that provided protection of any benefits for me after his death back in 2009 or so and didn’t tell me.
I'm not understanding what You are saying here. Please elaborate.
I can’t get medical care until I somehow get Medicaid or whatever.
YES You can !!! They are required by law to treat You. They will have someone from administration come by and verify Your information (name, address, phone #, DOB, age, etc. When they ask for Insurance info tell them "I don't have any right now." Then tell them what happened with Your rightful Benefits getting screwed up. When they ask how much money You can pay right now ? You tell them "I don't have any money right now, please send a bill."THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT !!! The illegal aliens that come across Our border do this all the time, everywhere !!!
No idea how long that’ll take and cannot be racking up any bills as I’m having to pay bills he owes now.
DO NOT PAY ANY BILLS RIGHT NOW EXCEPT: Water, Electric, Gas, Sanitation for the house so you have shelter and basic things for daily life including food, beverage, dog food, and gas for transportation. You keep any money You have IN CASH AND ON YOUR PERSON !! DO NOT PUT ANY MONEY IN THE BANK/CREDIT UNION !!! VERY IMPORTANT !!!