You must not be a gardener. I am and I keep random newspapers for mulch.
I get second-hand newspapers to do the crosswords. Keep a couple around for DIY projects (e.g., free painting tarp). Other than that, I have no use for them.
I must admit I do check out the page-six girl, but it’s about a 50-50 toss-up between a beauty and a freakazoid on any given day.